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https://datatracker.ietf.org/doc/draft-elders-social-media-apology/?include_text=1
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Network Working Group E. of
Internet-Draft The Internet
Intended status: Informational July 16, 2018
Expires: January 17, 2019
Social Media (An Apology)
draft-elders-social-media-apology-00
Abstract
Oops, we did it again.
Status of This Memo
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This Internet-Draft will expire on January 17, 2019.
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Internet-Draft Social Media (An Apology) July 2018
1. Introduction
Recently, you may have noticed a dramatic increase in the amount of
opprobrium, outrage, hate speech and overall bile on your favorite
social media channel.
The Elders of the Internet apologize unreservedly for this
disruption.
Recently, our attention has been focused on keeping the United
States
government, Comcast, your local ISP and some guy at the coffee shop
out of your bits [RFC7258].
As a result, we were caught unawares when the Internet became the
sink for every poorly-considered argument, paranoid thought when you
wake up in the dead of night, and shrieking nutjob you'd usually
cross the street to avoid.
Combined with the magnification offered by "likes" and "retweets",
along with the inevitable back-and-forth squabbling that ensures,
the
Internet is currently having a crippling effect on your ability to
work, communicate productively, and - occasionally - breathe.
In retrospect, we should have known; USENET was a pretty clear
warning. We will do better.
2. Mitigations
To partially mitigate the effects of this phenomenon, a number of
techniques can be used. Note that none of these is a "fix", and
some
undesirable effects (e.g., loss of sleep, appetite or democracy) may
persist.
2.1. Meme-Only Diet
Memes are a time-proven way to express disdain, mocking and other
sentiments while maintaining an air of light humor. They can
therefore be helpful in a transition away from full-throated,
deeply-
felt outrage.
In other words, they're the methadone of the Internet. Memes are
only to be generated or consumed under advice of a doctor, as
prolonged use might result in undesirable side effects (e.g.,
[fourchan]).
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Internet-Draft Social Media (An Apology) July 2018
2.2. Blocklists
Blocklists are a proven means of avoiding undesirable content, and
responsible social networks (looking at you, Facebook) implement
them. They may be able to help you enjoy the sparse benefits of a
social network without some of the worst side effects.
Recommending a specific blocklist is out of scope for this document,
but we suggest starting with "Trump" and working outwards from
there.
2.3. Abstention
The most proven way to win is not to play. By abstaining from
social
media, you may find you have more time, a more authentic and
meaningful engagement with life, and a corresponding lack of the
desire to stock up on canned food and ammunition.
Other benefits may include more productive and authentic
participation in genuine societal issues (as opposed to "using a
hashtag" while binge-watching [Netflix]).
2.4. Whisky
For those unable to leave social media or otherwise curtail their
use.
3. Security Considerations
The security of the Internet is the least of your problems. Buckle
up, kids.
4. Informative References
[fourchan]
Anonymous, "4Chan", n.d., <https://www.4chan.org/>.
[Netflix] Netflix, "Netflix", n.d., <https://netflix.com/>.
[RFC7258] Farrell, S. and H. Tschofenig, "Pervasive Monitoring Is
an
Attack", BCP 188, RFC 7258, DOI 10.17487/RFC7258, May
2014, <https://www.rfc-editor.org/info/rfc7258>.
Appendix A. Membership Notes
The Edlers of the Internet note with sorrow the passing of our
former
member, Stephen Hawking, aka "The Hawk." You will be missed.
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Applications for membership are now being accepted at the usual IPv6
address.
Author's Address
Elders of the Internet
The Internet
Email: internet-eld...@hotmail.com
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