Christians Changing Lightbulbs!
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.
Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the
spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic and Orthodox: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to
approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
Episcopalians: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say how much
they liked the old one better.
Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to
do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against
the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found light
bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a
modern dance about your personal relationship with your light bulb, and present
it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore
a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent,
three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to
luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely
out, you are loved -- you can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb.
Churchwide lighting service is planned for Sunday, August 19. Bring bulb of
your choice and a covered dish.
Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church
lighting policy.
Lutheran: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
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