i hate people with ambitions because what ambitions can you have? the pilgrim, the enthusiast, the blogger, there's no end to the list is there a hole in the list? hard to find something i don't despise where to begin? it's hard to accept oneself because it also includes death does it? as far as we can see life ends, the individual and the universe so first of all i have to accept this. ok, that's what i've done, and that's why ambitions doesn't interest me, and when forced i react with contempt.
now, what to do, how to view the situation? as a game? well, with a game you are still yourself after it finishes but in reality no, whether you win or loose you have lost but there's no you so there's no winning and loosing i wouldn't call that a game is there a feeling to the situation? is it necessarily sad? with human intellect it seems so, but still? i think therefore i am not; also, therefore i am not thinking looks like a paradox, can we formalise it? p -> -q p v q : either i think or i exist but now, you have to exist to think (as far as i know) if i don't exist then i don't think -q -> -p -q v p p v -q : either i think or i don't exist so, i think therefore i exist and not that's the heart of the condition can it be seen and solved as a self-reference case? i think therefore i am not, and not thinking if i am or not sure you can solve it by ignoring it the enduring consciousness about it will not endure is it like pinching yourself in the arm? but then that's the human condition, how to avoid it? life is suffering, because we know it and can say it but then, animals, the only thing is that they don't complain or humans, the only thing is that we complain now what could we be complaining about? do we know something better? heaven means more complaining on the other hand acceptance i complain because i find it hard to accept but do i know what would be acceptable? well that doesn't matter directly because you can be lost without knowing the way back so, i find it hard to accept because i don't know what's acceptable buildings turn into ruins after a while ruinings turned into builds new humans are born though for a while there's a pressure of one atmosphere around us without that pressure the body would throw up itself the horror of a vacuum how come vacuum can bear horror? it's like when i have contempt against this or that i don't know if i'm horror or vacuum if i'm vacuum i'm horror, and if i'm horror i'm vacuum the thinking horror of vacuum existence or the pressure of atmosphere this might be the birth of counting, from 1 to 2 we understand 1, but how to understand 2? the split, horror, pressure, thinking, all 2's or the context as part of the text feeding back did this happen with generation? maybe not we want back to 1 from 2 but once you start counting the logic of one, all is truth release of pressure why spirituality likens flatulence bear with bad jokes, which also release temperature, volume, pressure somehow we're in here how to attain knowledge. a logician saves the life of a tiny space alien. the alien is very grateful and, since she's omniscient, offers the following reward: she offers to answer any question the logician might pose. without too much thought (after all, he's a logician), he asks: "what is the best question to ask and what is the correct answer to that question?" the tiny alien pauses. finally she replies, "the best question is the one you just asked; and the correct answer is the one I gave."
