so... you brought a bazooka to a knife fight.
On Fri, Feb 4, 2011 at 1:47 PM, Randall <yuhro...@verizon.net> wrote: > Just a rebuff from a proud Steelers fan........ > > 1. A Steelers fan and a Packers fan get shipwrecked on an island and some > natives take them to their king. At first, the king plans to execute them, > then, he decides to grant them one wish, twenty lashes on the back, and let > them go. > The Packers fan wishes for a pillow strapped to his back. It doesn’t hold > well during the whipping and broke after 5 whips, leaving 15 painful marks > on his back. > > When it was the Steelers fan’s turn though, a smile came across his face. > “I wish for 300 lashes,” stated the Steelers fan. > > The king thought the Steelers fan was being very brave and noble, so he > gave him another wish. “I wish the Packers fan was strapped to my back!” > said the Steeler fan ! > > > > 2. A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cheesehead. > > She asks her students to raise their hands if they are > Cheeseheads too. > > No one really knowing what a Cheesehead was, but wanting > to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy > fireworks. > > There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen > who has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has > decided to be different. > > “Because I’m not a Cheesehead.” > > “Then”, asks the teacher, “what are you?” > > “Why, I’m a proud Steelers Fan,” boasts the little girl. > > The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks > Kristen why she is a rebel. > > “Well, my mom and dad are Steelers Fans, so I’m a Steelers Fan too.” > > The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if > your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?” > > A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says Kristen, “I’d be a Cheesehead” > > > > 3. Aaron Rogers walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and > says..."Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have headaches." > > His wife is lying in bed and replies..."I think you'll find that's a sheep, > you idiot." > > Aaron says..."I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you." > > 4. You know you are a Packer fan when the Halloween pumpkin on your porch > has more teeth > than your spouse. > > 5.You know you are a Packer fan when you've been married three times and > still have the > same in-laws. > > 6.You know you are a Packer fan when you wonder how service stations keep > their > restrooms so clean. > > 7.You know you are a Packer fan when your wife's hairdo was once ruined by > a ceiling > fan. > > 8.You know you are a Packer fan if your junior prom had a daycare. > > 9.You know you are a Packer fan if you think loading a dishwasher means > getting your > wife drunk. > > 10.You know you are a Packer fan if your front porch collapses and kills > more than > five dogs. > > > > *Q: *What is the difference between a Packer fan and a baby? > *A: *The baby will stop whining after awhile. > > *Q: *What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan? > *A: *An anorexic! > > > *Q: *What do you call a beautiful girl in Green Bay? > *A: *A tourist. > > *Q: *What do you call a good looking woman with a Packer fan? > *A: *A hostage > > *Q: *Why do Packer fans smell so bad? > *A: *So blind people can hate them as well. > > *Q: *What’s the difference between a porcupine and Lambeau Field? > *A: *The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine. > > *Q: *How do you circumcise a Packer Fan? > *A: *Kick his sister in the mouth > > *Q:** *Why does Lambeau Field have the new hybrid turf? > *A: *To keep the fans from grazing during the game. > > *Q: *What do you say to a drunken alcoholic pervert who is passed out on > your car after a Packer game? > *A: *“May I have your autograph Mr. Favre?” > > *Q: *What doe’s a Tampon and the packers have in common? > *A: *Only good for one period and they don’t have a second string!! > > > > On the eve of a Sunday kickoff, this old Green Bay Packer fan couple went > to bed at the Super 8 on Oneida street- just a mile or so away from Lambeau. > The old guy farted and yelled out "7". > > The old lady said what was that. He said he got a touchdown. I'm playing > Fart Football. The old lady farted and yelled 7-7. The old man farted again > 14-7. The old lady farted again tied 14-14. > > The old lady sqeeked a little fart 17-14. The old man said what was that? > She replied, > > "I just kicked a field goal". > > The old man layed there trying to push out another fart. He pushed so hard > he shit the bed. The old lady said what was that? The old man replied it's > 1/2 time and time to switch sides. > > > > Go Steelers !!!!!!!!!! > > Randall > > ----- Original Message ----- > *From:* Bob Hartung <bhart...@wiscoind.com> > *To:* NT System Admin Issues <ntsysadmin@lyris.sunbelt-software.com> > *Sent:* Friday, February 04, 2011 4:08 PM > *Subject:* [OT] Superbowl > > Ben Rothelisberger, after living a full life, died. > > When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest > little house with a faded Steelers flag in the window. > > "This house is yours for eternity, Ben," said God. "This is very special; > not everyone gets a house up here." Ben felt special, indeed, and walked up > to his house. > > On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. > It was a 3-story mansion with a GREEN & 24k GOLD sidewalk, a 50-foot tall > flagpole with an enormous silk PACKERS flag, and in every window, a > CHEESEHEAD. > > Ben looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful but I have > a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even won a > Super Bowl." > > God said "So what's your point, Ben?" > > "Well, why does Aaron Rodgers get a better house than I do ?" > > God chuckled, and said: > > "Ben, that's not Aaron's house...... > ............it's Mine." > > > GO PACKERS ! > > > > ---------------------- > > Bob Hartung > Wisco Industries, Inc. > 736 Janesville St. > Oregon, WI 53575 > Tel: (608) 835-3106 x215 > Fax: (608) 835-7399 > e-mail: bhartung(at)wiscoind.com > > ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ > ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ > > --- > To manage subscriptions click here: > http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ > or send an email to listmana...@lyris.sunbeltsoftware.com > with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin > > ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ > ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ > > --- > To manage subscriptions click here: > http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ > or send an email to listmana...@lyris.sunbeltsoftware.com > with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin > ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ --- To manage subscriptions click here: http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ or send an email to listmana...@lyris.sunbeltsoftware.com with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin
