At 10:55 AM 2/13/02 -0700, Alec A. Burkhardt wrote:
>The only thing I didn't like was Sixten's use of the word derived; it's my 
>understanding that Clark is actually taking material directly from the 
>previous books which is different from deriving from earlier material.

Yeah, in this particular case, saying something like, "the following 
content originally appeared in," rather than the is-derived-from language 
would probably be more clear and to the point. (Though I would say that 
"derived from" is still correct; I'd also guess that he's not reusing the 
material verbatim.)

>X: The following listed content is taken from the Creature Collection, the
>Creature Collection 2: Dark Menagerie, or Relics & Rituals, all published
>by Sword & Sorcery Studios and used with specific permission.  This
>content is designated as Product Identity except for that material listed
>after the item which is noted as Open Game Content.  {insert the list of
>the content being used, with the notation of what is OGC}
>
>Here's an example of how an item would appear in the list then (taken at
>random from CC or RR, since I don't know what exactly is being used):
>
>Land Worm: The stat block and description of combat are OGC.
>Declaration of Death: The stat block and explanation of spell effects are
>OGC.

Hrm. I think the explicit list is okay, but I really dislike the 
double-negative structure of the way you've worded your first paragraph. 
How about rephrasing your list in the positive:

>X: The following listed content is taken from the Creature Collection, the 
>Creature Collection 2: Dark Menagerie, or Relics & Rituals, all published 
>by Sword & Sorcery Studios and used here with specific permission. Only 
>the material listed
>after each item below is Open Game Content; any other elements of these 
>items are designated as Product Identity.
>Land Worm: The stat block and description of combat are OGC.
>Declaration of Death: The stat block and explanation of spell effects are OGC.

Of course, I still think that it's better to rely on the earlier statement 
of OGC, and state here only the PI bits. My most recent previous attempt at 
reworking Clark's text attempted to do this, but you could also make a list 
here, perhaps like this:

>X: The following listed content is taken from the Creature Collection, the 
>Creature Collection 2: Dark Menagerie, or Relics & Rituals, all published 
>by Sword & Sorcery Studios and used here with specific permission. The 
>following elements of these items are designated as Product Identity.
>Land Worm: The name "Land Worm," and all descriptive elements which do not 
>include game rules.
>Declaration of Death: The name "Declaration of Death," and all history and 
>description which does not include game rules.

I suspect, however, that what parts are PI will be pretty much the same for 
everything on the list, so it makes sense to me to condense that list of PI 
elements into the paragraph itself.

Sixten

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