Hi Lars, Thank you very much for the review! All the issues listed below have been addressed and will be reflected in the newer revision.
Best regards, Haoyu -----Original Message----- From: Lars Eggert via Datatracker <nore...@ietf.org> Sent: Monday, November 29, 2021 7:10 AM To: The IESG <i...@ietf.org> Cc: draft-ietf-opsawg-...@ietf.org; opsawg-cha...@ietf.org; opsawg@ietf.org; lud...@clemm.org; lud...@clemm.org Subject: Lars Eggert's No Objection on draft-ietf-opsawg-ntf-10: (with COMMENT) Lars Eggert has entered the following ballot position for draft-ietf-opsawg-ntf-10: No Objection When responding, please keep the subject line intact and reply to all email addresses included in the To and CC lines. (Feel free to cut this introductory paragraph, however.) Please refer to https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ietf.org%2Fblog%2Fhandling-iesg-ballot-positions%2F&data=04%7C01%7Chaoyu.song%40futurewei.com%7C8ceb85ad7c1a423a6f7908d9b34a413d%7C0fee8ff2a3b240189c753a1d5591fedc%7C1%7C0%7C637737953776498295%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000&sdata=5FZTQQySXzyfwL45FOc%2FoGEBKuGepPFJ3mIxRu8oSG8%3D&reserved=0 for more information about how to handle DISCUSS and COMMENT positions. The document, along with other ballot positions, can be found here: https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fdatatracker.ietf.org%2Fdoc%2Fdraft-ietf-opsawg-ntf%2F&data=04%7C01%7Chaoyu.song%40futurewei.com%7C8ceb85ad7c1a423a6f7908d9b34a413d%7C0fee8ff2a3b240189c753a1d5591fedc%7C1%7C0%7C637737953776498295%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000&sdata=p%2BitJcpqnfG1ruKNUDp0S7wfb%2BmiUZqZcf%2BuFO%2FSR0k%3D&reserved=0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- COMMENT: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Found terminology that should be reviewed for inclusivity; see https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.rfc-editor.org%2Fpart2%2F%23inclusive_language&data=04%7C01%7Chaoyu.song%40futurewei.com%7C8ceb85ad7c1a423a6f7908d9b34a413d%7C0fee8ff2a3b240189c753a1d5591fedc%7C1%7C0%7C637737953776498295%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000&sdata=zphocVEFagdg%2BamrqYhhaqKKcrUxCv7lYKxUy393T3E%3D&reserved=0 for background and more guidance: * Term "his"; alternatives might be "they", "them", "their". * Term "traditional"; alternatives might be "classic", "classical", "common", "conventional", "customary", "fixed", "habitual", "historic", "long-established", "popular", "prescribed", "regular", "rooted", "time-honored", "universal", "widely used", "widespread". Thanks to Gyan S. Mishra for their General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) review (https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fmailarchive.ietf.org%2Farch%2Fmsg%2Fgen-art%2FItkS25VOVfDg8eLogFDMCtpeoFM&data=04%7C01%7Chaoyu.song%40futurewei.com%7C8ceb85ad7c1a423a6f7908d9b34a413d%7C0fee8ff2a3b240189c753a1d5591fedc%7C1%7C0%7C637737953776498295%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000&sdata=ftmKsfeQdDLSDKZyvguNWHl%2BgaKMcJTkJK20HJwmjGc%3D&reserved=0). ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by automated tools (via https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fgithub.com%2Flarseggert%2Fietf-reviewtool&data=04%7C01%7Chaoyu.song%40futurewei.com%7C8ceb85ad7c1a423a6f7908d9b34a413d%7C0fee8ff2a3b240189c753a1d5591fedc%7C1%7C0%7C637737953776498295%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C3000&sdata=5yEFMuoKYs1PBKdhb8JyeCf8Ya7izYDwh%2BFfhzW5BlQ%3D&reserved=0), so there will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you did with these suggestions. Section 3.2. , paragraph 4, nit: > ic manipulation. In some cases, micro-bursts need to be detected in a very sh > ^^^^^^^^^^^^ This word is normally spelled as one. Section 3.2. , paragraph 6, nit: > ant to be warned of issues in advance so proactive actions can be taken to av > ^^^ Use a comma before "so" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short). Section 4.1. , paragraph 3, nit: > lso be implemented over TCP and SCTP but that is not recommended for forward > ^^^^ Use a comma before "but" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short). Section 10. , paragraph 19, nit: > P/2 [RFC7540] based open-source micro-service communication framework. It pro > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This word is normally spelled as one. "A.3.1. ", paragraph 2, nit: > pected movement makes it fascinating and many people connect to sites that a > ^^^^ Use a comma before "and" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short). "A.3.1. ", paragraph 3, nit: > ent can be affected by such situation so their management solutions should be > ^^^ Use a comma before "so" if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short). Document references draft-ietf-ippm-multipoint-alt-mark, but that has been published as RFC8889. Document references draft-song-ippm-postcard-based-telemetry-10, but -11 is the latest available revision. Document references draft-ietf-grow-bmp-adj-rib-out, but that has been published as RFC8671. _______________________________________________ OPSAWG mailing list OPSAWG@ietf.org https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/opsawg
