Elwyn, thank you for your review. I have entered a No Objection ballot for this document.
Lars > On 2022-10-10, at 14:53, Elwyn Davies via Datatracker <nore...@ietf.org> > wrote: > > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies > Review result: Ready with Nits > > I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area > Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed > by the IESG for the IETF Chair. Please treat these comments just > like any other last call comments. > > For more information, please see the FAQ at > > <https://trac.ietf.org/trac/gen/wiki/GenArtfaq>. > > Document: draft-ietf-opsawg-yang-vpn-service-pm-12 > Reviewer: Elwyn Davies > Review Date: 2022-10-10 > IETF LC End Date: 2022-10-04 > IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat > > Summary: Ready with a few minor nits. Apologies for the rather late > delivery. > > Major issues: > > Minor issues: > > s4.4: The following text appears in the section on 'Percentile Parameters': > > Setting a percentile to > 0.00 indicates the client is not interested in receiving > particular percentile. > > Given the discussion of configurable items in Section 6 it would be helpful to > mention that these items and other items marked 'rw' and with names ending in > '?' can be configured rather than just saying 'Setting'. > > Nits/editorial comments: > > General: The document contains a lot of VPN terminology and network types > using > acronyms such as CE, PE etc. Some of these are defined in Sections 2/2.1 but > a pointer to a document that defines the VPN technology (such as RFC 4026) > would be helpful. > > s1: The abbreviations PE, CE and P are used here before their definitions in > s2. I guess they had better be expanded on first use. > > s2.1: The references for definitions of MPLS, OWAMP and TWAMP introduced in s3 > would be usefully noted here. > > s3, para 3: s/involved devices/devices involved/ > > s3.1, para 1: s/Some applications/Some applications,/ > > s4.1, para before Fig 4, sentence 1: s/VPN Network PM YANG module/the VPN > Network PM YANG module/ > > s5: There are 3 instances of 'into 0.0' in the percentile definitions of > augment "/nw:networks/nw:network/nt:link" that should be 'to 0.0'. > > > > _______________________________________________ > Gen-art mailing list > gen-...@ietf.org > https://www.ietf.org/mailman/listinfo/gen-art
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