Hi Authors, Thank you for working on this document. And thanks to Tommy Pauly, and Joe Touch for providing their reviews.
Here is my review that is divided between COMMENTs and NITs. I expect the COMMENTs to be resolved before the document is sent for IETF Last Call. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- COMMENT ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Section 1, paragraph 1 > IP Flow Information Export (IPFIX) [RFC7011] is a protocol that is > widely deployed in operators networks for traffic management > purposes Would it be fair to say, that IPFIX is used for traffic monitoring and not directly traffic management? Section 2, paragraph 2 > This document uses the IPFIX-specific terminology (e.g., Flow) > defined in Section 2 of [RFC7011]. As in [RFC7011], these IPFIX- > specific terms have the first letter of a word capitalized. > > Also, this document uses the terms defined in Section 3 of > [I-D.ietf-tsvwg-udp-options]. It would help to identify which terms are being used from each of the documents in this draft. Also, is the rule that the IPFIX specific terms have the first letter captilized? What about udpOptions? Section 5, paragraph 3 > Figure 2: An Example of udpOptions IE Can the description be expaned to say "An Example of udpOptions with EOL and APC options? Section 5, paragraph 10 > udpSafeExperimentalOptionExID IE: > > MSB LSB > 1 2 3 > 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 > +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > | 0x9858 | 0xE2D4 | > +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > udpUnsafeExperimentalOptionExID IE: > > 1 2 3 > 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 > +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > | 0xC3D9 | 0x9658 | > +-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+ > > Figure 3: Example of UDP Experimental option IEs This example is not clear or confusing. The explanation above talked about SAFE and UNSAFE Experimental options. How is the range of 0-191 for SAFE or the range of 192-255 encoded in these values? Or if they are not, because they come part of the UDP options, then how about showing what the UDP options field looks like? In other words, can Example 2 and Example 3 be combined to show a more complete example? No reference entries found for these items, which were mentioned in the text: [URL_IANA_UDP_OPTIONS] and [URL_IANA_UDP_ExIDs]. Note, the following comment is boilerplate output from the review tool I use. However, it is true that draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options currently is in WG LC and does not have the intended RFC status set, and thus the message. Also note that this document will result in MISREF state unless the other document moves forward and gets approved as an RFC. DOWNREF [I-D.ietf-tsvwg-udp-options] from this Proposed Standard to draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options of unknown standards level. (For IESG discussion. It seems this DOWNREF was not mentioned in the Last Call and also seems to not appear in the DOWNREF registry.) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- NIT ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All comments below are about very minor potential issues that you may choose to address in some way - or ignore - as you see fit. Some were flagged by automated tools (via https://github.com/larseggert/ietf-reviewtool), so there will likely be some false positives. There is no need to let me know what you did with these suggestions. Section 5, paragraph 1 > Given UDP kind allocation in Section 10 of > [I-D.ietf-tsvwg-udp-options] and the option mapping defined in > Section 4.1 of this document, fewer octets are likely to be used for > Flows with mandatory UDP options. Inconsistent use of the term Kind. Sometimes it is used with a captial K but other times it is used with a small k. Document references draft-ietf-tsvwg-udp-options-28, but -32 is the latest available revision. Document references draft-ietf-opsawg-ipfix-tcpo-v6eh-08, but -10 is the latest available revision. Mahesh Jethanandani mjethanand...@gmail.com
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