I hate to be a spoilsport, but some people unfamiliar with the USA might be taking this seriously. This is, of course, a humorous piece, in the same vein as the joke about Microsoft purchasing the Catholic Church http://www.spunk.org/library/humour/sp001526.html
> -----Original Message----- > From: Jesse, Rich [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] > > Oracle Makes Bid to Buy State of Delaware > > > Software giant willing to assume state's $225 million deficit > in exchange > for > legislative control, naming rights > > Wilmington, DE - Oracle CEO Larry Ellison today announced his > intention to > purchase the state of Delaware for $300 million in cash and > Oracle stock. > The > move comes on the heels of Oracle's bid for rival software > firm PeopleSoft, > and is the first time that an offer has been made to buy a > U.S. territory. > > Delaware governor Ruth Ann Minner responded to the bid with > shock and seemed > certain that the hostile takeover could be avoided. > > "Oracle's bid comes as a big surprise to the government and people of > Delaware", said Minner at a press conference. "At this point, we are > checking > into whether or not a company, such as Oracle, can buy a > state, and whether > or > not Delaware is actually for sale." > > Oracle's announcement sent shockwaves through the political > and economic > landscape. Oracle shares dropped 8% immediately following > the announcement, > only to rebound and break even for the day, with heavy volume > being traded. > Meanwhile, government officials in Washington scrambled to > look into the > legality of such a purchase, and who actually currently owns Delaware. > > In an afternoon press conference, Ellison seemed certain that > Oracle would > own > Delaware in the near future. > > "The fact is that the state of Delaware is in a budget crisis > that it can > not > resolve. Oracle's bid will immediately pump $300 million into > the state > budget, and (Oracle) will also be assuming all current > Delaware debt. Call > this a 'hostile takeover' if you must, but the people of this > great state > deserve a better future, and I will be able to give them just that." > > President Bush, who was giving a speech to coal miners in > Kentucky, called > the > Oracle bid "interesting" and added that "49 states would be > easier for me to > handle than 50". > > Ellison rival Tom Siebel called the move "typical", and added > "Larry thinks > he > can take over the world, and I guess he thinks this is a good place to > start. > I personally would have targeted Vermont." > > Ellison defended his decision, citing fourteen state parks, a > minor league > baseball franchise, an annual Nascar race in Dover, and the > annual Great > Delaware Kite Festival as reasons that Delaware is primed for > success. > > "Delaware is a state rich in tradition and excitement. None > of the existing > festivals or events will be changed. I mean, who doesn't love > minor league > baseball and kites?" > > If the takeover bid is successful, Ellison plans to place > several Oracle > executives in key state government positions, and is > considering re-naming > the > state either New Ellison or OracleLand. > > > [Couldn't resist, Jared! Hope it's not too OT!] -- Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.net -- Author: Jacques Kilchoer INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Fat City Network Services -- 858-538-5051 http://www.fatcity.com San Diego, California -- Mailing list and web hosting services --------------------------------------------------------------------- To REMOVE yourself from this mailing list, send an E-Mail message to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] (note EXACT spelling of 'ListGuru') and in the message BODY, include a line containing: UNSUB ORACLE-L (or the name of mailing list you want to be removed from). You may also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).
