I appreciate and I am interested in Darlene's point about being more specific about behavior, (more specific than "creepy") and we might think about a short list of what makes some dancers (or new dancers?) uncomfortable. We all want to improve *retention *of new dancers!
I am the kind of dancer that smiles a lot (contra just makes me smile!) and I enjoy connecting with everyone present. Contra sometimes makes me a little goofy, or silly. Just a little. I can be very welcoming, life if a small group of new dancers misses the Welcome Session, I might grab my wife or someone and give a 5 min mini lesson in the hallway, and new dancers really appreciate it! But, maybe one in twenty dancers- I get a weird vibe like they are uncomfortable with my vibe! Maybe they think I'm acting too familiar too fast? Or I'm enjoying too much eye contact?? I don't really know. But I would not be surprised if 1 in 20 finds me creepy, as I don't fully understand it. I am an older guy and contra makes me feel very happy and youthful. I did ask one local dancer recently after a dance if I was making her uncomfortable. I said, "Can I ask you a question? No big deal- I'm just curious. Am I doing anything to make you uncomfortable?" She laughed and said no, of course not. Why do you ask that? (So we had a 1 minute conversation and all is well) But maybe a "dance environment committee" could draft a short list of "How to make sure we help new dancers feel as comfortable as possible". or something. A few things on my personal list: > When I dance with a new dancer that seems concerned they aren't getting it. I often encourage them: "You are doing great" > We notice when a dancer has been sitting out, and ask if they want to dance. > I try to learn new-ish dancer's names. (We have sticky name tags at the front desk, and they often fall off) > I try to introduce new dancers to other dancers I think they might have something in common with, or are in their age group. > We personally invite them to go out with our "after the dance, get a snack group" which we announce sometime in the 2nd half. best, Rob On Wed, Dec 6, 2023 at 6:01 PM Darlene Hamilton via Organizers < [email protected]> wrote: > Hello all, > > I am late to the conversation and still need to catch up, however I'm > planning a major event this weekend so not quite “there” yet. > > I have 2 things to mention... > > First... I am bothered by the “creepy men” comment. I understand the point > however I feel that we should not be addressing this as a gender thing. > Many people can feel creepy, or clingy, or overbearing, etc. I hope that > some focus can be put on the real definition and not something so vague and > open to interpretation as the “creepy” definition. (Again I understand the > feeling but we are businesses even if only community businesses.) > > Second... we do have an organizers meet-up that happens every 2nd Monday > of the month which is THIS MONDAY. This sounds like a great topic to > discuss along with other safety protocols put in place by organizations. > For example, we have two “safety officers,” one male, one female, one is > older, one is younger, so that there is hopefully a person that folks feel > safe speaking to if needed. (We can share more of our protocol at the > meeting this Monday.) > Here is the information to join in: > > Organizers Monthly Meet-up > 2nd Mondays every month > Next meet-up: December 11, at 1:30 p.m. PT/ 4:30 p.m. ET. > Link https://tinyurl.com/ECD-Organizers > <https://tinyurl.com/ECD-Organizers?fbclid=IwAR2k3ies3ySquKcq1D6Jdo6eaUAIg5Z1_PBUaWad80frjRniA_xgATgTyB4> > > Hope to see you there. We chat about all topical subjects to dance events > and anyone involved in the organization of a dance, or similar, community > group is welcome to come and join the discussions. > > All the best, and thank you for the work you do in the community, > > Darlene > > -- > > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ > > Darlene Hamilton > > *Caller, Dancer, Founder of* > *The Historical Tea & Dance Society* > *Historical Balls, Tea Dances, and Historical Dance classes* > *For more information about events and classes go > to**www.historicalteaanddance.org > <http://www.historicalteaanddance.org/>* > > *Like us on facebook!* > _______________________________________________ > Organizers mailing list -- [email protected] > To unsubscribe send an email to [email protected] >
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