I appreciate and I am interested in Darlene's point about being more
specific about behavior, (more specific than "creepy") and we might think
about a short list of what makes some dancers (or new dancers?)
uncomfortable.
We all want to improve *retention *of new dancers!

I am the kind of dancer that smiles a lot (contra just makes me smile!) and
I enjoy connecting with everyone present.
Contra sometimes makes me a little goofy,   or silly.   Just a little.
I can be very welcoming, life if a small group of new dancers misses the
Welcome Session, I might grab my wife or someone and give a 5 min mini
lesson in the hallway, and new dancers really appreciate it!

But, maybe one in twenty dancers- I get a weird vibe like they are
uncomfortable with my vibe!
Maybe they think I'm acting too familiar too fast?   Or I'm enjoying too
much eye contact??   I don't really know.
But I would not be surprised if 1 in 20 finds me creepy, as I don't fully
understand it.   I am an older guy and contra makes me feel very happy and
youthful.

I did ask one local dancer recently after a dance if I was making her
uncomfortable. I said, "Can I ask you a question?  No big deal- I'm just
curious.  Am I doing anything to make you uncomfortable?"

She laughed and said no, of course not.   Why do you ask that?   (So we had
a 1 minute conversation and all is well)

But maybe a "dance environment committee" could draft a short list of "How
to make sure we help new dancers feel as comfortable as possible". or
something.

A few things on my personal list:
> When I dance with a new dancer that seems concerned they aren't getting
it.  I often encourage them: "You are doing great"
> We notice when a dancer has been sitting out, and ask if they want to
dance.
> I try to learn new-ish dancer's names.  (We have sticky name tags at the
front desk, and they often fall off)
> I try to introduce new dancers to other dancers I think they might have
something in common with, or are in their age group.
> We personally invite them to go out with our "after the dance, get a
snack group" which we announce sometime in the 2nd half.

best,  Rob

On Wed, Dec 6, 2023 at 6:01 PM Darlene Hamilton via Organizers <
[email protected]> wrote:

> Hello all,
>
> I am late to the conversation and still need to catch up, however I'm
> planning a major event this weekend so not quite “there” yet.
>
> I have 2 things to mention...
>
> First... I am bothered by the “creepy men” comment. I understand the point
> however I feel that we should not be addressing this as a gender thing.
> Many people can feel creepy, or clingy, or overbearing, etc. I hope that
> some focus can be put on the real definition and not something so vague and
> open to interpretation as the “creepy” definition. (Again I understand the
> feeling but we are businesses even if only community businesses.)
>
> Second... we do have an organizers meet-up that happens every 2nd Monday
> of the month which is THIS MONDAY. This sounds like a great topic to
> discuss along with other safety protocols put in place by organizations.
> For example, we have two “safety officers,” one male, one female, one is
> older, one is younger, so that there is hopefully a person that folks feel
> safe speaking to if needed. (We can share more of our protocol at the
> meeting this Monday.)
> Here is the information to join in:
>
> Organizers Monthly Meet-up
> 2nd Mondays every month
> Next meet-up: December 11, at 1:30 p.m. PT/  4:30 p.m. ET.
> Link https://tinyurl.com/ECD-Organizers
> <https://tinyurl.com/ECD-Organizers?fbclid=IwAR2k3ies3ySquKcq1D6Jdo6eaUAIg5Z1_PBUaWad80frjRniA_xgATgTyB4>
>
> Hope to see you there. We chat about all topical subjects to dance events
> and anyone involved in the organization of a dance, or similar, community
> group is welcome to come and join the discussions.
>
> All the best, and thank you for the work you do in the community,
>
> Darlene
>
> --
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> Darlene Hamilton
>
> *Caller, Dancer, Founder of*
> *The Historical Tea & Dance Society*
> *Historical Balls, Tea Dances, and Historical Dance classes*
> *For more information about events and classes go 
> to**www.historicalteaanddance.org
> <http://www.historicalteaanddance.org/>*
>
> *Like us on facebook!*
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