>Asking people why they chose not > to come feels like making them accountable to the "asker" for their actions - a > contradiction of the law of two feet. >
BJ, I think intention has a great deal to do with this. When asking is tinged with accusation or expectation of an accounting, then it is quite inappropriate. When it is done from a place of loving curiosity, I have found it can open new territory to explore both for the asker and the asked. Such questions for me have led to deeper, richer understanding and closer relationships. Peg Holman