Dear Thomas, I appreciate your story very much. I concur with the comments of John Dicus and Don Ferretti.
A couple weeks ago I was making a presentation to a community group about OST. The question was posed to me: what makes the environment safe? Are there ground rules for how to interact? I answered that no, there are no ground rules for how to interact...but that what seems to happen is that because people care about the theme, they begin to take risks with their words - risks of honesty. And it is the accumulation of this risk-taking that raises the level of trust in the group. The woman who had asked the question noted that it is an unusual notion that it is risk-taking that makes a space safe. I agreed with her. "I've never thought of it in quite that way. But I think that's what happens." My experiences with talking circles and storytelling circles confirm this idea. It takes grace and courage for someone to tell the first difficult-honest story, but once that story is told, others follow. The facilitator has no guarantee that someone will break the ice in this way, and in the culture (and grief-cycle stage) that some organizations are in, the benefit of taking the risk must be clear and very strong in order for an individual to overcome the resistance to speaking truthfully, or speaking at all. Like John and Don, I have no doubt that your event was of value, even if uncomfortable for you and others. You wrote that one woman "told me that so many old memories came back to her, obviously not nice ones." Simply by issuing the invitation, you bring the organization closer to its truth. If they are living a lie, the OST and its aftermath will hit rough water anyway, so any efforts of this kind improve the chances for success. I think your reflections on food are important. I have had the most success when people are well-fed before the circle begins (and when the food is good and the dinner atmosphere convivial!) So for me as a talking circle facilitator, the question is, "What words, timing, environment, and other forms will support the people to have the courage to take the risk of speaking what matters?" Your sharing of your story helps me to answer this question with more skill. Chris Weaver -- S P R I N G B R A N C H Opening the Space for Inspired Collaboration P.O. Box 8234 / Asheville, NC 28814 / USA Phone: 828 225-0007 / Fax: 828 225-0303 http://www.springbranch.net / ch...@springbranch.net F A C I L I T A T I O N * * ========================================================== osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu Visit: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html =========================================================== osl...@egroups.com To subscribe, 1. Visit: http://www.egroups.com/group/oslist 2. Sign up -- provide an email address, and choose a login ID and password 3. Click on "Subscribe" and follow the instructions To unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of osl...@egroups.com: 1. Visit: http://www.egroups.com/group/oslist 2. Sign in and Proceed