This morning as I sat in meditation, there occurred a surge of energy and unspoken words that mounted and then brimmed over into a silent conversation with mySelf. The question arose: WHERE are they? Where are the beings who can hold the space of truth, integrity, compassion, love, forgiveness and unity? Where on this planet do they live? Where is one who can stand in the fire with me? Where do they reside who are willing to look in the mirror of themselves and allow masks to drop so we may look at each other in clarity?
My heart ached as I sat and I reflected on the pain of the last month felt throughout the world - how being REAL is what it is all about. And how that is what happened to the American people on September 11th. Life got REAL real - and now time has passed on while people are going about their daily lives, hanging their patriotic flags out of windows and slashing their neighbors to bits behind their backs; yelling at their loved ones; unable to find time and space to sit in meditation yet finding all the time in the world for whatever else fills their day; turning their heads when a question is asked in truth and saying - "I can't go there; it is too hard"; pretending that life will go on as it did in the past before the clarion call to wake up was blasted throughout America and we created our own martyrs. And so, now, we sit in the eye of the storm. It is strangely silent, is it not? There is a waiting while the flags wave in the breeze, George Bush rallies the Congress to give him torturing rights to get information "so long as it is not on U.S. soil" and the workers in NY city continue to zip up the body bags filled with pieces - not only pieces of bodies - pieces of identities that died before having a chance to speak their unspoken truth, say their last goodbyes and clean up whatever inner garbage needed disposing of before transitioning through the veil. And so I sit and marvel at the words I hear spoken around me as I ask questions that seek to uncover the unspeakable: Do you get value and connection out of prayer? Answer: It is not meant to be anything except worshipping God; it is not about connection. Will you come sit and meditate with me? Answer: Oh, its too hard to quiet my mind; can't get past those thoughts (and I am not going to attempt it because that would mean work on my part). Can we talk about what separates us - what feelings, words, thoughts keep us from being one? Answer: No, it scares me to be real so I will continue to be false with you and be angry with you if you do not accept my falseness. And on and on and on it goes. So, I sit and reflect and feel and listen. I am not flying a flag for there is nothing to be patriotic about. I do not support murdering people for oil disguised as a war on terrorism; I restate that I do not believe the US did not know this was coming and let it happen; I will continue to hold a position of love and compassion for ALL involved because that ALL includes every being on this planet. Yes, I know that all IS perfect and that this is part of the experience we have chosen. Yet, in any moment, we can choose again. We can choose to be conscious, to look, listen, feel and really hear each other and be unafraid to drop the masks and protective barriers that surround each individual in his/her particular way. We can spend time being present with each other and allowing the other to speak the unspoken in their hearts and not cast aspersions their way because we may not agree. We can spend each day making time to be silent with the connection that is US, our Source connection, so that we may know that we are all One. We can stop pretending that it is okay to pretend. And then it will be seen where the people are who can hold the space of truth and integrity, compassion and love and they will be able to be seen; they will be able to be heard and felt - and no one will feel alone again. If you dropped your mask to only one person today and they, in turn, dropped theirs to one other - how close we would all become. Ask yourself - how long do you really believe Mother Earth will hold this energy? She is alive, can feel, experiences life and what is happening to her body and those in and on it. We are united in the spiritual and electronic/magnetic grid that contains us in the field we call earth. How long can it hold while those within it are disengaged from it within their consciousness? Sit with it and see where the answer lies for you. Toni Petrinovich
