Dear Chris,
 
Not knowing much about the profession of conflict resolution, I expect
that there is a lot of resonance.
Yes.

I imagine that there are many mediators who see themselves as
space-holders rather than fixers.
Yes.

I imagine that there are mediators who in some way invite those "in
conflict" to consider a larger circle of viewpoints by holding space for
a diversity of voices - not just the polarized "other" but a circle of
those affected and those who care.
Sometimes.  For me, this happens most often in child custody mediations.
In these mediations, I consciously hold space for the children.
Sometimes I do this silently, and sometimes I verbalize it.

My friend does victim-offender mediation, sometimes in the aftermath of
violent crime.  There is much in common about how he and I prepare for
our work, but to me his space-holding requires more courage - warrior
energy, tested tried & true.  And an unwavering trust in & service to
the transforming power of love.
I’m also involved in victim offender mediation, though I haven’t done a
large number of mediations in this area.  The ones I’ve done have been
with juvenile offenders.  Our local youth court has developed a victim
offender mediation program using youth and adult co-mediators to reflect
the typical mediation participants: youth offender and adult victim.
(Initially the program was set up with two adult co-mediators.  The
youth-adult co-mediation model is much better.)
Interesting though...when I think of "conflict resolution" I picture two
people across a table from one another, with a mediator in between, and
I think, what a set-up.  How could there be healing without the circle?
How could healing be sustained without a circle of "the right people,"
who have responded to an open invitation?  And what would be the theme?
Two is a circle.  So is three.  Any more than one.  Sometimes two or
three is “the right people.”
 
Julie

 


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