Harrison wrote: Doubtless there are innumerable situations such as you describe, particularly ones where upper management refuses engagement or change. One side of all of us says -- well if we can't do everything, let's do what we can. And above everything else let's try and help the people caught in the middle. I know the syndrome, but I question it's wisdom. Organizations with such short sighted management hopefully will not survive too long, and in any event I am not sure that I want to be party to their sustenance. My reasons are two. First life is very short and sweet, and given the fact that there are endless opportunities to help folks who really do want to get on with the business of meaningful life, why should we waste it helping those who refuse to help themselves? Secondly, and this becomes an ethical consideration for me, let's suppose that we are wildly successful -- the conflict has been mediated AND the folks at the top never got their hands dirty, nor did they have take responsibility for a miserable situation they created. Who wins? Harsh, I suppose, but we only have so much life to give -- and how we choose to give it makes a difference, I think.
Harrison, I like this playing with colors thing. I feel like my five-year-old self reaching for my box of crayolas. Helps me get in that mind-space of "life is very short and sweet..." What fun life can be if we just let it. :) As for who we help, my choice has been to help and be helped by whoever happens along. For me, remaining aware of the quality of my response to whoever arrives in front of me and whoever I arrive in front of is part of the flow. It's part of letting go of any particular expectation and any particular outcome. A Good response is one that meets the other where they are, joins with them authentically, interacts with integrity until the interaction is done, and gently moves on. The interaction can be very brief.. a moment of eye contact or a smile... or it can last varying amounts of time, up to a lifetime. I know it's over when it feels good. (Glory, you have such a lovely signature line that gets at this.. I don't recall exactly what it says.. something like 'if it doesn't feel good, our story isn't over...') A glimmer of understanding on my horizon now... it isn't authentic, Harrison, for you to interact with groups in ways that require more words or technique or reliance on you as a facilitator/leader. What is authentic for you is to express trust in their ability to find their own answers, and to help by holding space with them. What that "holding space" is, is a manifestation of Spirit at work in you, co-creating with them an energy of creativity, good will, and unbounded possibility. Having experienced this so many times, it is inconceivable to you to respond to requests for a lesser experience. Your inner wisdom resists being and doing less than you are capable of. Is that it? As for the rest of us, we also have to find what is authentic for us. Authenticity isn't something that can be transferred. We each have to look inside and find what is authentic for us. My understanding of OS is that it encourages each of us to authentically express our true selves, unbounded by artificial boundaries or expectations. I guess part of the problem here is that there seems to be a general presumption that just because you as the facilitator are not saying something, or doing something (overt) you have no impact or contribution. There are in fact subtle realms to be explored and worked with, and maybe another strand of our conversation might take a look at all of this? I do not assume the facilitator needs to be speaking or doing something to have a positive impact on a group. One of my favorite lines is: "Don't just do something, sit there!" (I first read this in something by Thich Naht Hanh, I'm not sure of the original author.) I would be very interested in exploring more about the subtle realms. So how about this as an idea -- All Open Space is Mediation, and all Mediation is Open Space? Ummmmmm... I would prefer to not adopt this particular idea. :) Mediation has a hard enough time defining itself without adding OS into the mix! In spite of the many similarities, I think there are also important differences. Many mediators are minimalists, and believe strongly in the power of doing nothing when nothing is called for. I think most mediators also believe that sometimes, something is called for. Usually that something is small... but it is something. The something might share space in the subtle realms, but it also sometimes manifests in the material realm through words or actions. I think mediators create emotionally safe space so people can reach a deeper understanding of themselves and others. In the subtle realm, understanding and love and healing are somehow all the same. I don't usually use the words love and healing to describe what happens in mediation, but I think this is an accurate description of what sometimes happens in mediation. Mediators provide their presence, and hold space. In this way, mediation is like OS. Mediators also speak. In this way, mediation is unlike OS. When mediators speak, they speak their understanding of the Now of each participant. They speak their understanding of the present state of consciousness, of the understanding of the world currently perceived by each person. As that understanding is spoken, each person (including the mediator) shifts. Sometimes there is relief that comes from being understood by another. Sometimes there is insight from hearing another speak the thoughts they couldn't hear from the person they are fearful of. Sometimes there is a spiral of increasing clarity as information is shared and understandings are explored. Mediators make choices. When to speak, when to remain silent. I often tend toward silence, toward letting things go as they will. I also choose to speak sometimes. For me, there is an openness, a freedom, that comes from being in a process in which I, too, can speak. For me, it is an expression of my inclusion in the humanity of the situation.. we are all in the room, together with the goal of helping solve the problem. If my words can be salve to the soul of those engaged in the struggle, and can perhaps help move the struggle forward, then I want to offer them. I have so often been the beneficiary of the words of others that I feel compelled to return the gift. Julie -- I think there is an enormous amount that we can all learn from each other. And for sure I am not advocating the elimination of Mediation as a thing to do. There is definitely a time and a place for the intense, face-to-face, supportive environment that a good mediator provides. I guess what concerns me is that I see a lot of folks in organizational life who assume that every time conflict shows its ugly head a call goes out for the mediators. At worst this creates mountains of learned helplessness and needless co-dependency. I would say essentially the same thing about those involved in Community Building and Stress Reduction. We have learned a great deal from both groups -- but from where I sit the real issue is to find effective ways in which to enhance the self-healing process in our communities (whether that be businesses or whatever) -- with the absolute minimum of intervention. I think what we have learned from 15 years of Open Space is how much can be accomplished with less. And I don't think we are at the end of that learning. My mantra over the years has been -- Think of one more thing NOT to do. You keep striping away and striping away. Perhaps there is an irreducible minimum, but I haven't seen it yet. All of which I take to be extraordinarily good news, if only for reasons of economics. Given the levels and complexity of the stress and conflict in our world, we simply do not have enough stress reducers, community builders and mediators to go around, and it is doubtful that we could pay for them all, even if we did have the numbers. I consider Open Space not so much a tool as an on-going natural experiment in enabling the process of self-healing, which is but one of the many gifts of self-organization -- otherwise known as Spirit at Work. Harrison, you make me chuckle. Most mediators I know definitely do NOT see themselves as mainstream. Far from it. I would also differ with you about characterizing mediation as fostering learned helplessness and needless co-dependency. I see mediation, like OS, as a means of fostering self-determination and self-empowerment. I'm interested in your thought about enhancing self-healing in our communities... and wonder what the difference is between self-healing and healing... but my brain is tired and my stomach oh so empty.. don't you serve food at these OS events????? Thanks for this forum and for this enriching conversation. Julie