Hi, Peggy Holman stimulated an interesting discussion at OSonOSinOZ on this topic (thank you Peggy) and I will share with you my experience.
* I offer quite an amount of pro bono work, but only to non-profit organisations. * I offer a free mentoring program for university graduates embarking on their careers and life journeys. This service is totally free and mentees access me by referral or word of mouth. * The program is based on OS principles. * There are only two givens: o That mentees should be 'fair dinkum' (OZ talk for serious, true, authentic etc) about their careers and life journeys, and o That they should do something similar for someone else in their lifetime. The givens are important for me, and hopefully to this discussion, for a number of reasons: 1. I receive nothing explicitly from the mentee, but inherently I gain heaps. If I was to charge a fee then I think it would 'corrupt' our engagement and reduce it to a transaction. 2. I have no control over the honouring of the givens by the mentees - they must make their own decisions. 3. The time honoured concept of unconditional giving is perpetuated by others, and others, and others...... I have ample evidence that mentees do in fact honour the givens. One mentee has established a mentoring program in her workplace - a major Australian public service organisation. So, the simple act of giving at no cost to me (in fact, emotional/spiritual profit) is profiting others. Giving and receiving are two sides of the same coin, and that coin is extremely valuable to both parties. Giving and receiving is not a linear transaction but a circular transformation for all concerned. I would even suggest that giving and receiving is chaos in action. So, in finishing I would say that the art of giving has to be contextualised - if it is right for you, your circumstances, your family, your business etc then do it. But do it unconditionally because then there is no way that you can possibly be disappointed if people dishonour the givens - whatever happens....? The danger is that if one is disappointed by the non-reciprocated expectation of receiving then one might just possibly stop giving. What a disaster that would be. Kind regards, Mick Walsh -----Original Message----- From: OSLIST [mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Christine Whitney Sanchez Sent: Monday, 2 December 2002 1:46 PM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: Giving and receiving Doug, I was in an almost identical situation this past year. What felt the worst and caused the most confusion for me and everyone else, was that in my sincere desire to help the project get off the ground (here's where I became confluent with the client), I also approached potential sponsors. It was in a meeting with one of them that I got a very helpful perspective. She said, "It simply won't work for the facilitator to be the driving force. If the conveners do not have the passion to get this thing off the ground, then it cannot ultimately lead to anything sustainable." I chose to go back to the conveners and share that insight. A rich discussion ensued, after which they decided to let go of the project. But that is not the end of the story. Some of those who did have passion, have begun dialoguing with another group that might be interested in teaming up to co-convene an even more potent event. We'll see. I so appreciate your willingness to share your dilemma with us, Doug. Thank you for letting me learn with you. Christine Whitney Sanchez Triune Milagro 2717 E. Mountain Sky Avenue Phoenix, AZ 85048-8990 480.759.0262 phone 480.759.0403 [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]> www.milagro3.com <http://www.milagro3.com/> Invoking the wisdom and capacity of the human spirit! -----Original Message----- From: OSLIST [mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Julie Smith Sent: Sunday, December 01, 2002 7:09 PM To: [email protected] Subject: Re: Giving and receiving Hi Doug, It's easier to work from one paradigm at a time. If the fees are important to you, then I think you should be very clear about that, ask whatever questions seem appropriate, and let the outcome be whatever it is. If the fees aren't important to you, then be clear about that, ask whatever questions seem appropriate, and let the outcome be whatever it is. In talking about the choices I'm making, I didn't mean to infer that my way makes sense for anyone else. We're all on our own journey. Did things start breaking down after you suggested bringing in additional co-sponsors to help cover your fees? Seems to me that there are many ways in which that part of what happened might be contributing to some of the concerns being expressed now. Julie > -----Original Message----- > From: OSLIST [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Douglas > D. Germann, Sr. > Sent: Sunday, December 01, 2002 4:02 PM > To: [email protected] > Subject: Giving and receiving > > Joelle, Julie, and everyone-- > > You have raised some good questions for me to ponder, Joelle. Thank you. > > Specifically, I have a series of 3 OSTs of 3 hours each which I am putting > together with a local senior independent living apartment complex. The OST > is about healthcare for seniors. (I have posted here about this group > before.) > > When we first met, they were very enthusiastic about the project. We have > met 4 or 5 times for over 2 hours each time, planning this event. > > Originally, they asked me for a fee. I quoted X. They came back at the > next > meeting and said they had only 0.4 X. I said OK, we could work with that, > and then I showed them how they could raise the additional amount by > seeking co-sponsors. They have approached a half dozen potential sponsors, > and I have helped them with by approaching other potential sponsors. > > Last time we met, they said they are incurring expenses and staff time > they > had not foreseen, and so they are not willing to pay any fee; Instead I > should be compensated by the contributions of the co-sponsors only. They > would of course "help" me contact those people. > > Now I agree with you and Julie and am willing to do the work for no fee > because it is important work. And I agree with the client that we will > likely get sponsors at some level. > > Yet am I right in reading into their statements that they have surfaced > some fear? > > (I also do not want to end up being the prime mover behind these OSTs.) > > How would you handle this situation? > > (My initial thought is not to argue with them, but to ask them questions > to > draw out what are their fears. Obviously they will argue that their budget > is going away with staff time, mailing costs, etc. But I want to get them > to first tell me why this project is important to them, then go deeper > into > their fears than "budgets." But still the question is, how would you > advise > handling this?) > > I meet with them Tuesday morning.... > > :-Doug. > > * > * > ========================================================== > [email protected] > ------------------------------ > To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, > view the archives of [email protected], > Visit: > > http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html * * ========================================================== [email protected] ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of [email protected], Visit: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html * * ========================================================== [email protected] ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of [email protected], Visit: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html * * ========================================================== [email protected] ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of [email protected], Visit: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html
