Dear Marei,
This evening I had a conversation with my 17 year old son. He was telling
me how sometimes he cannot believe how good his life is. Especially as so
many of his peers appear so troubled as teenagers. He feels he should be
able to give some of his good fortune away to those more needy. When I
suggested he may believe he does not deserve it in some way, that he is not
good enough to be given the life he has, he said no at first. But later...
It can often be hard to have experiences that are different from those
around you, even when those experiences are positive and good. We
instinctively want to share them just so that in sharing them they grow and
extend around us. Yet even the joyful discovery of new connections has
implications for us. Maybe we will change and others will not like what we
become. Maybe I have out grown my existing friends and relationships and
will soon be moving on. I am mindful of young people who emigrate to a new
country or go to the big city to study or get a job. They leave all that is
familiar behind but the excitement of the new world pushes them forward.
Enjoy the journey.
Shay
At 17:59 07/12/2005, you wrote:
Dear friends and collagues,
today I am showing up with a question that might sound funny to some of you.
But I feel really confused and am hoping for some input that get's me
through my emotional mess.
Have you ever experienced that something like the grief cycle happened the
other way around?
At the moment I am experiencing wonder after wonder in my life, beautiful
coincedences and new connections and I feel shocked by this, finding
myself not breathing, like under shock, and I even experience some kind of
denial ~ "no, this can't be true, this is to god to be true" ~ and I feel
tempted to turn around and try to find the one who is really ment,
thinking something like "this cannot be ment to me" ~ as people
experiencing a loss may say, "why me?" and fight it.
I experience a mixture of joy and excitement and tension and stress.
I know that when I recently experienced a big loss, being familar with the
grief cycle helped me very much with going through the stages and dealing
with all the feelings connected with it.
So I am asking: Is anybody out there who can help me understand this version?
Thank you !!!
Warmly, still breathing, but very little, Marei
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