Last week an old friend died. The family asked me to take the funeral and as an old preacher (yes it is true :-)), I of course agreed. But this was not your usual situation. The family was large and the circle of friends, colleagues and associates much larger. What stood out was the incredible diversity of traditions and interests. The family itself ran the gamut from practicing Protestants through non-practicing whatevers, on to deeply religious orthodox (Jewish) folks. Everybody had their needs, and everybody had their opinions as to how things should be done. Negotiating all of that would have been difficult under the best of circumstances, and given the fact that this was a funeral, extended time for negotiation was not available. What to do?
Open Space - of course, and just know that the incredible complexity of peoples, needs, and expectations would find appropriate expression. Sitting in a circle was not an option, for the funeral was to take place in a rather standard "chapel" setting - rows of seats facing the front. But you don't have to sit in a circle in order to be in a circle. Indeed a circle of the mind will do. I began by saying who I was (most people didn't know me from Adam) and that we were here to celebrate the life of our friend as the circle of friends. Our celebration would involve sharing our memories. I pointed out that while we sometimes think of memories as being all about what we have lost, the truth was rather different. Indeed memories are the only thing we ever really have. As the present instant passes, it merges into the larger moment of our memories, and our memories create the rich tapestry of human experience. It will be our privilege to unroll that tapestry. And so we began. There was a list of sorts indicating who might speak, but I didn't have a clue who they were or what they would say. I was aware that we had one hour, I knew that time would be honored, and I sat down. Family member followed colleagues and friends. Each spoke in their own way for their own time. We went from laughter to tears, and back to laughter, pausing for deep silent moments. At the precise end of the hour, the last person sat down. I said a short blessing and we left. It took a while for the family and friends to make their way out the door, and I snuck out a back door to enjoy my pipe on the street. As I stood there, somebody I had never seen before came up and asked me what was going on inside. I said we were having a funeral. But, he said, they are all laughing. I didn't expect him to understand my reply, but I responded - Yes I know. It's the memories. I would certainly not recommend that all funerals be such as we did, but I am sure that is just the way I would like to go. Be that as it may, my purpose for sharing this story here is not so much about funerals but open space, and the ways in which space may be opened in each and every moment of our lives. I find that when we do that the course of events passes naturally from laughter to tears and back to laughter, stopping along the way for deep silent moments. It is all about creating the space for rich living. I think that is what we do. Harrison Harrison Owen 7808 River Falls Drive Potomac, Maryland 20854 Phone 301-365-2093 Skype hhowen Open Space Training <http://www.openspaceworld.com/> www.openspaceworld.com Open Space Institute <http://www.openspaceworld.org/> www.openspaceworld.org Personal website <http://www.ho-image.com/> www.ho-image.com OSLIST: To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives Visit: <http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html> www.listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html * * ========================================================== osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu ------------------------------ To subscribe, unsubscribe, change your options, view the archives of osl...@listserv.boisestate.edu: http://listserv.boisestate.edu/archives/oslist.html To learn about OpenSpaceEmailLists and OSLIST FAQs: http://www.openspaceworld.org/oslist