Love in your brilliance and clarity here Lisa. I have some clear image of you as Open Space 2.0.
Love you. Chris --- CHRIS CORRIGAN http://www.chriscorrigan.com +1 604 947 9236 On 2012-07-30, at 1:48 AM, Lisa Heft <lisah...@openingspace.net> wrote: > Hello, all - > > I am enjoying this conversation. > > Get a cup of tea, folks - this one is very long because instead of responding > to individual moments in this thread I am going to try to combine into one > message for your in-box. > > My observation is that many individuals - which therefore includes > facilitators - are conflict-averse. > We see something we name as conflict, and we either want to avoid it or solve > it away. > We are not very good at sitting with it; breathing through it. I am talking > about those conflicts where your life is not immediately in danger but > instead where voices are raised and people are angry and upset. > > And for some of our cultures - what one culture sees as conflict (raising of > voices, dramatic gestures, angry faces) - another culture sees as passion or > simply as expression and communication. > So all those cultural filters are at work (us, our groups, our personal / > cultural style, our family-of-origin / relationship history - oh so many > things). > > So to me - as a facilitator - my job is to know.. > - what is the group's work (and what is my own internal work) > - to breathe (and to breathe as a way to hold space for others) > - to do thoughtful work (including the pre-work and analysis for / selection > of best-fit dialogue process) > - and to care for self and others (in specific ways like making sure I am > hydrated, rested and fed, and holding in my heart and mind that their work is > their own and that I think they are amazing). > > Conflict without violence is to me - passion. Someone struggling to name > their own truth - which while not perhaps true for others, is true for them, > at that moment. > > Harrison I disagree with you - I don't think conflict is something that can > often be resolved in a single meeting. By a single intervention. Resolution > is not what I seek by offering Open Space as one of the possible tools for a > certain meeting. The ability to breathe through conflict - to witness rage > without blows - to be able to walk away (and walk back in) - to hear another > person's story (without trying to solve or change it) - these are all the > things that an Open Space (of two days, ideally) can offer. Resolution? Take > any human behavior - there are so many things that inform and change and hold > in place certain behaviors. The meeting is just one part of someone's life, > life history, life after the meeting, real life 'on Monday', social norms, > support for change and so on. But what the meeting can do as the 'massage' so > the human can witness their own inner dialogue, feel witnessed, notice and > wonder, try to articulate, stumble through, step back and step back in? > Amazing. > > I say two days ideally because in any process - including Open Space - on Day > 1 people are often naming their grief and loss. Day 2 does not magically > change that but with the overnight, with eating together, with feeling > witnessed as they tell their story again and again on Day 1 - seems like > enough people shift a bit on Day 2 to not lose their own story but walk > forward into imagining a slightly different story, together. > As you say, Harrison, '...given the time / space to do it." > > It is what happens before the meeting and afterward that also count. Which is > why I think of Open Space or any other facilitated process as one in a chain > of steps of change and shift as part of a greater whole. > > I agree with Peggy - there does not necessarily have to be trust - but: like > any couple's relationship when they are having rocky times - they have to > walk in hoping / wanting / wondering that there might - just might - be a > light at the end of the path somehow back to each other. Or at least (same as > couple counseling) that in exploring some things together their agreement to > step apart will be more thoughtful and hopefully more kind. As Peggy said: > 'willingness'. > > And yes - one of Lisa's favorite topics: Pre-work. As I recall, Harrison - > and Tova, Avner and Carol if you are reading this you can correct me - didn't > it take something like a year of invitation for one of those OSs bringing > together Israelis and Palestinians? A year. Finding allies. Making personal > invites. Thinking how best to reach each individual and build relationships. > Lots of strategic, creative and passionate work on that part, I am sure. > > Kerry - for me - as the facilitator - I think there is an issue about > trusting the people who participate. I trust them fully. I trust in their > ability. Not their outcome - not their path - which is theirs to inform. But > that humans are incredible. I trust the people and I trust the process. > > I agree with the 'givens'. I think it is not useful to say 'this is what you > cannot talk about' / 'this is off the table'. Humans will talk about whatever > is the story within them that has the strongest pain or yearning or discovery > or passion - even if we want them to talk about 'x'. However: An example of > how a marvelous client of mine said this - Catholic Diocese - this was the > Bishop, and the OS was for strategic (pastoral) planning for the next two > years. "You can talk about wanting more women clerics in the Church" (for > example) and that is fine - but that is not what we have money for to fund > for this next two years of our strategic plan. We are not able to inform or > control that in our greater Church at this time - although rest assured we > remain passionate about it as well. What we do have money to fund is in these > three key strategic areas (Lay people in the Church, Youth Ministry and > Living Catholic Social Teachings - the three areas identified by the > parishioners for the coming years' focus). So you can talk about other things > but we hope you will also spend some time in these retreats helping us with > the three upcoming strategic plan issue areas." > > So he did not say something was a given or off the table. He invited anything > anyone wanted to talk about - but encouraged people to think within the > diverse stream of these key identified-by-the-parishioners areas. Nice. > Usually: I think the client does not have to say anything. People will talk > about things and that's fine. Most will talk about what is named as the OS > task, and that is fine. Nothing derails anything. And yes, Kerry and Artur - > I do let the client know of what might happen, what could happen, and are > they ready for that. For surprise directions. For those certain scary things > being raised as an issue. For that same person who always says that same > thing to say that same thing again. And if they are fine with that? We move > on to OS. If not? We move to another process. > > Marie Ann - again I would try not to squish things into too small a meeting > time. People need and deserve the room to breathe, name, explore, feel, make > mistakes - the whole thing. And I like the idea of also giving individuals > witnesses - 'listening posts' - to share their own story with one person and > feel fully heard. There is a whole ecology of things that can be done - > together, and over time - to help a community having challenges. And it did > not take one day to fall into this situation - so it may take many nutritious > moments over time to help some people breathe and shift a bit. Though other > people might be fully-served by staying right there in that painful story. > > I am also a strong believer in meeting a group where they are. Are they > asking for the help. How do they respond when you offer. Is it the time for > help or is it the time to fully witness exactly where they are? > > And how else do you show them to each other as individuals rather than as > positions. Do they get a chance to eat together. To do a project together > that is not about their conflict areas at all. Do they need to. > > Susanna - same question - should you bring them together to work on the > 'issue' - or can you mix and match and combine them in small and large ways > to experience each other in other ways as individuals. > Should you be the event sponsor? Well - are you being asked to? You > mentioned not being sure the women's organization 'would be convinced of an > OS process'. '..try to convince them of the value...' That wording - is it > your job to convince or sell OS? Doesn't really work that way. Are you > meeting the group where they are? You might be - I don't know the answers to > those questions - maybe you do. And if it is decided to do an OS should you > facilitate? No matter how you feel you can hold space for all different sides > and viewpoints - how are you *seen* or *perceived by* others - even if you do > not feel that about yourself? > > My colleague Zach Metz - who does OS in high conflict zones in the world - > also really appreciates Public Conversations Project for some meetings - > sometimes earlier in the chain of meetings than the OS, which happens later > in the chain. I am not skilled in that but you might want to read about it. > It is more facilitated but Zach truly believes in participant-centered work > so I am guessing and have heard it is pretty amazing for what are perceived > to be polarizing issues. > > Susanna - it is not necessary the wording of an invitation that will get > people to show up. It is the relationships and outreach strategy - the > invitation strategy - that gets people to show up. Who is asking each kind of > individual. Someone who they trust? Who thinks like them? Who looks like > them? How and where are they being asked? In person? Over the phone? After > temple or mosque service? Over food? On a walk? What will work for each > individual so that they, too, will feel there is a place for them in that > room? Sure, the text and the messages are important also. But you see what is > most important - actions and relationship-building more than words embody > true invitation. In my experience, anyway. > > Oh dear I did go on. > > Thank you for your reading patience folks - who got this far - and for you > others - I trust you used the Law Of Delete... > > Lisa > > ________ > The Power of Pre-Work > - August 8-10, 2012 - San Francisco, USA > The Open Space Learning Workshop / el Taller de Aprendizaje de Espacio Abierto > - October 9-11, 2012 - London, United Kingdom > (before the World Open Space on Open Space in London) > - December 12-14, 2012 - San Francisco, USA > ________ > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > OSList mailing list > To post send emails to OSList@lists.openspacetech.org > To unsubscribe send an email to oslist-le...@lists.openspacetech.org > To subscribe or manage your subscription click below: > http://lists.openspacetech.org/listinfo.cgi/oslist-openspacetech.org
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