Re: Fw: prem care

[DebSlater]

Jan, Alesa and others

As I have mentioned to Jan offlist, I am not a nurse, but have experience of bfeeding a prem baby.  My baby was born at 34 weeks and went home at nearly 36 weeks being fully b/fed.  This was done with the support of the staff at the unit, my being at the unit for over 12 hours per day to offer the breast on demand, and then supplement via naso-gastric tube if necessary.  It was tiring, but worth it.

However, as an aside, something came to me after reading Alesa's posting.

After my experience with my son, I ran a support group for several years for parents with babies in the SCN, and worked closely with staff on the unit.   This was at the John Radcliffe Hospital, Oxford, UK.

On the basis of that work, I have supported many parents with "special" babies.  Many parents focus on their need and wish to have their baby home.  Very often that desire becomes inextricably linked with their baby's feeding to the extent that they believe that if they can get the feeding "right", then their baby can go home.  It is also something that parents feel that they can do for their baby and have some control over.  However, for many reasons, the feeding does not always go as quickly as they hope - as Alesa says, their sucking reflexes may not be quite developed, they may be quite poorly, or whatever, and it may not be appropriate foe baby to go home.  Some parents then feel that there wish/ right to have their baby at home is being thwarted, and, sometimes blame staff for this.  All of this is perfectly understandable and is part and parcel of the stresses of having a baby in special care.

It may be that the Mum (and Dad) need the opportunity to talk to someone about how they are feeling generally.  Going home each night without your baby is awful.  When I was supporting parents we looked at all the ways in which they could help their baby while he was away from them, and also to make this time with him a special time in it's own right - a sort of extra bonding time that they wouldn't usually have had.

Despite the trauma's of my own experiences, I have some very special memories of my son's time in special care - Xmas Day with the card and the footprint, the quiet times establishing breastfeeding etc.  In particular, I think it was much easier for my other son (nearly 2 at the time) - as he spent 12 days getting to know his little brother before he came home - a luxury not usually available to little one's suddenly presented with a new sibling.

If I can personally help your lady in any way - pls email me offlist.

Regards

Debbie Slater
CBE
Perth, WA