Mary
M, thanks so much for sending this item. The following is a response I sent to
Lifematters.
In
solidarity, Carolyn Hastie
Oh dear!
I read this man Sean Kelly's story with a deep sense of
sorrow.
How sad his experience is for himself and for his children and
his partner.
Humour is great isn't it? It relieves stress and is a great
coping strategy. It also allows us to see under the surface and is a powerful
social commentary. Leunig's wonderful cartoons bear testimony to
that.
Alas, it demonstrates in this situation, how the birth of a
baby can be less than optimum for the child's wellbeing. Current brain and
behavioural research shows how important it is that children are wanted and
are welcomed with caring loving arms and hearts. This man's story also shows
how fathers can feel alienated and dismissed.
It is becoming more and more obvious that the environment
around and within a mother influences the foundations of the sense of self of
the infant. The early foundation sets the matrix for the emergence of the
adult.
The situation this man, Sean Kelly describes sounds typical of
one where the couple have not had the opportunity to explore their feelings
about parenting, nor have they been able to explore the realities of
childbirth and develop effective self management strategies for pregnancy,
birth, relationships or parenting. It is also clear that the couple did not
know the midwives who were caring for them and therefore there was no rapport
and no inclusion of the father in the transformative and extraordinary process
of giving birth to a new, precious human being. What a tragedy.
The good news is that it can be so different. Couples who have
access to one to one midwifery care are enabled to explore their feelings,
develop self management strategies and understand the process. One to one
midwifery care also enables the father to become and feel valued and part of
the whole process. To help him feel included, vitally important, unlike the
way this man, Sean Kelly apparently felt, totally out of what was going on,
being sent to get vases rather than allowed to be over-awed at the amazing
journey of the human spirit and the sacredness of the process.
A group called Materntiy Coaltion, consisting of various
women's groups, mothers, midwives and others who care about birth and what
happens to our babies at birth have consulted across Australia and have
written a National Maternity Action Plan (NMAP)
NMAP details can be found at
www.maternitycoalition.org.au/nmap.html
The National Maternty Action Plan is a document which calls
for government bodies to facilitate substantial change to the way in which
maternity services are provided, by making available to all women, their
partners and their families, the choice of publically funded community
midwifery care. This model promotes continuity of care from ante natal,
through labour and birth, and for post natal care.
The National Maternity Action Plan is being launched across
Australia on the 24th September. People are gathering in every major city at
the respective Parliament houses to launch NMAP.
For more details, please call me, Carolyn Hastie, 0418 428
430.
warmly, Carolyn Hastie
"True self worth, success and wealth can only come about from
responsible love, caring and compassionate thoughts and actions."
Ty Metsker
Child Development, Family and Individual
Counselor
