Sent: Sunday, March 21, 2004 2:47
PM
Subject: [ozmidwifery] Co-sleeping and
older children
I have a personal experience to share about
co-sleeping as a child. My father died when I was four and I had 3
older brothers and sisters between the ages of 8 and 12. I slept with
Mum, without question, from the day that Dad died and continued to do so
most nights until I was about 15. Mum never ever had a
relationship again which was very sad and hopefully not because of
me!!! I actually think Mum would have been comforted by my being there
(as was I). The others all stayed in their beds but soon
after...the oldest 2 (boys) were sent to boarding school as Mum thought they
needed a male influence...but that is another story.
I certainly don't class myself to be
clingy/dependent as I have lived away from home and travelled
extensively since I was 17 when I started nursing. I still
do, however, have a very close emotional bond to Mum who is now in her
eighties.
I found out a few years ago that my older
brother was a bit worried that I was still sleeping with Mum when I was
fourteen. At that stage Mum and I were living alone as my
sister had moved out by then. She didn't tell me at the time
and when I heard I thought it was a bit of a laugh.
So anyway, when it came to co-sleeping with our
child it seemed only natural, despite the fact that I had no preconcieved
ideas about how we would handle it. I did recognize that my
situation with Mum would no doubt have been quite different if Dad had still
been alive. He used to let us get in to the bed in the night, but
we were still predominantly in the cot when he was around.
We certainly find our child needs to co-sleep
as part of his emotional security and it is predominantly a beautiful
bond strengthening experience alround, but admit as per my recent postings
on the subject, that it can be "challenging to say the least" and does,
at times, interfere with our sex lives. We don't seem to be as
energetic, imaginative or motivated as we were early in our
relationship. I wonder if it is also an age/familiarity related
thing...........again that is another story.
I too have really enjoyed the recent
discussions on this subject and thanks those who have give us an insight
into their lives when the sun goes down.
Helen Cahill