RE: [ozmidwifery] Men at births

[Vedrana Valčić]

What does gobsmacked mean?   Vedrana   From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Janet Fraser Sent: Thursday, September 01, 2005 12:45 AM To: ozmidwifery@acegraphics.com.au Subject: Re: [ozmidwifery] Men at births    I wonder if anyone does these or similar in Melbourne specifically for men   On the Joyous Birth forums there is a private section specifically for fathers who have been present at births which were traumatic. We also support them in planning, with their partners, for subsequent births in a more empowered and informed way. We have dads at Joyous Birth meetings in Melbourne, Brisbane and Sydney where they have access to all our books, videos and the like. Many men who attend home births, especially after experiencing how unnecessary they often are in the hospital hierarchy, become great advocates of woman centred birth.   When I ran that article past the dad who moderates that forum, he was gobsmacked that anyone could find the normal, natural processes of birth anything other than wondrous. He sat like a deaf mute, through fear, watching his wife scream through repeated unwanted VEs, with the staff demanding that he help hold her still. He was sent home at one point as her induced labour ramped up because the hospital was having building done and she was forced to labour in one large room with other unsupported labouring women. He saw her repeatedly jabbed in the leg with pethidine without her knowledge or consent - it was done in the middle of a cx and she would ask what had been given to her when she came out of the pain. Eventually all this led to caesarean and the staff refusing both him and his wife the chance to hold their baby for many many hours. She is still recovering from PTSD 3 years later and after a great deal of work, they have reclaimed their marriage and are planning a home birth. He can't wait to actually be involved and be able to support his wife. And she can't wait to hold her own baby as soon as it's born.   I think the pathologising of even normal, physiological birth has led us to this sad situation.   We have at least one couple who have divorced partly over the husband supporting the hospital to pressure the wife into an unnecessary (and second!) "elective" caesarean. The physical injury she sustained from that operation was terrible, not to mention the PTSD, and she says in retrospect she didn't realise how much his attitude would impact negatively on their marriage, let alone her birth experience. So now she's single and dreaming of a HBA2C for her future. J