1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. > > 2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . > > 3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. > > 4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption. > > 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. > > 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. > > 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. > > 8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. > > 9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. > > 10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. > > 11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.' > > 12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. > > 14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.' > > 15. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. > > 16. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. > > 17. A backward poet writes inverse. > > 18. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes. > > 19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion

a friend who knows my sense of humor sent me these  - enjoy
(apologies to those who ahve seen them already elsewhere)

ann



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