Saddam: I Killed JonBenet Stunning Confession Rocks Former Dictator's Trial
In the latest and possibly most bizarre twist in his trial for crimes against humanity, former Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein told a stunned courtroom in Baghdad today that he was responsible for the death of child beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey. Mr. Hussein, who is currently being tried for the deaths of thousands of Kurds, appeared to be listening to the prosecution's evidence against him when he suddenly rose to his feet and, in an emotional outburst, said, "I did not kill all of those Kurds, but I did kill JonBenet." The judge in Mr. Hussein's trial immediately called a recess and contacted American authorities about transferring the former Iraqi president to Boulder County to stand trial for the murder of Ms. Ramsey. But in the hours after his stunning confession, questions began to cloud Mr. Hussein's story, including how he could have gotten to Boulder to commit a murder at a time when he was still busy repressing millions of Shiites in Iraq. In addition, a prison guard who has been watching over the incarcerated former dictator in recent days said that Mr. Hussein watched "with great interest" news reports about JonBenet suspect John Mark Karr's first-class flight from Bangkok to the U.S., during which he was served fried prawns and champagne. "Now that's livin'," Mr. Hussein reportedly remarked. Mr. Karr himself seemed to cast doubt on Mr. Hussein's confession, releasing the following statement from his prison cell in Los Angeles: "I was with JonBenet when she died, and I don't recall seeing Saddam Hussein there." [by Andy Borowitz] -- Jim Devine / "Segui il tuo corso, e lascia dir le genti." (Go your own way and let people talk.) -- Karl, paraphrasing Dante.
