from the ONION:

Madonna's Adoption Flak
Critics of Madonna's decision to adopt a Malawian orphan are accusing
the pop star of choosing the child like one would choose "a handbag."
What do you think?

[the mythical people on the street answer]

Chip Malley, Secretary
"It's only right that the boy should be raised by whomever can provide
him the best faux-British life."

Tony Martini, Grape Picker
"Goddamn it, are there no celebrities left I can depend on to be
totally selfish with their wealth?"

Megan Udall, Doula
"Why is everyone acting like Madonna is this impetuous flake who
constantly changes her look, follows trendy religions, and performs
provocative acts for the sake of cheap publicity?"
--
Jim Devine / "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely
believe they are free." -- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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