Masters of Their Domain

By Ethan Smith



In August, ICANN [Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers] will
begin accepting applications from any Internet users or organizations with
an interest in establishing a new [top-level] domain. Applicants will be
required to pay a $50,000 submission fee to cover the costs to evaluate the
application. ... One of ICANN's working groups has proposed domain names
like '.banc,' '.museum,' '.union,' '.travel' and '.sex.'"
� New York Times, July 17, 2000

.PONZI
For a submission fee of $500, .ponzi administrator PonziWeb (a
limited-liability partnership incorporated on the Caribbean island of
Barbuda) will consider applications for new .ponzi-level domains. For an
additional fee of just $5,000, PonziWeb will consider applications from
individuals or organizations interested in becoming licensed vendors of $500
.ponzi domains and $5,000 vending licenses.


.TERROR
While the popular view of terrorism emphasizes chaos and extremism, any
terror professional will tell you bombings and poison-gas attacks require an
integrated end-to-end e-terror solution. There's simply no better place to
organize the faithful, publicize demands and build a terrorist community
than in the unregulated reaches of cyberspace.


.BOMB
Investors have wasted countless hours and untold sums of money on startups
headed nowhere but the Fuckedcompany.com hall of fame. Now entrepreneurs
with hopeless content plans, half-baked incubator schemes and
doomed-from-conception e-commerce plays can spare everyone a major headache,
lower investor expectations and set themselves up for sleeper success simply
by registering online as .bombs.


. To establish a Web presence as towering as his two-decade recording
career, the most prolific do-it-yourselfer in the music business today
deserves nothing short of his own cybersuffix. The Artist Sometimes Known as
Prince has changed monikers so often he's likely to come back to the
unpronounceable symbol faster than you can say , and Cyb-r-Squat, Inc. has
thoughtfully reserved the . domain. Should Prince or  decide to take
possession of it, all he needs do is reimburse Cyb-r-Squat its ICANN
application fee, plus additional convenience charges not to exceed $2
million to $3 million.


.OY
Silicon Alley, meet the Borscht Belt! Trend-conscious venture capitalists
will go meshuga for startups in the ultra-hot oy-commerce space. Bid on
Jackie Mason memorabilia on oyBay; bank on Fortune magazine spinoff
oyCompany Now within the year.


.BOB
Would-be Web pioneers frustrated to find their .coms, .orgs and .nets of
choice already developed will flock to the wide-open spaces of Bob
Throckmorton's new domain. Is a portal behemoth sitting on the URL you'd
been eyeballing for your redneck community site? Just stake your claim at
Yahoo.bob.


.SPELUNKING
Vertical business-to-business marketplaces are where it's at, right? Well,
so is vertical cave exploration, as any spelunker worth his miner's headlamp
can tell you. The field is open in this rock-solid market:
Caribiner.spelunking, belay.spelunking, clovehitch.spelunking,
batguano.spelunking.


.SOY
As versatile as the bean it's named for, this all-purpose top-level domain
makes a great substitute for meat, wheat, fish, milk � or at least .com,
.net and .org.


.WHERETHEHELLDOIGO?
Net users confused by the inevitable proliferation of top-level domains will
need a quick, easy way to help them distinguish among the multitude of sites
with the same name. Amazon.wherethehelldoigo, for instance, lets you know
exactly what's going on at Amazon.travel (Brazilian rain-forest tours),
Amazon.soy (the premier online soy-tailer) and Amazon.museum (online exhibit
on endangered e-retail species).

--
"Bill Gates did not become the richest man in the world by being Mr.
Rogers." Microsoft ex marketing officer

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