This looks good. I added a few suggestions below -- not sure if they are better ideas, but, maybe they can spin things in a different direction.
> MP3 is a > format covered by software patents, and it doesn't work on my GNU/Linux > computer, since free software developers face penalties for distributing > players for patented formats--even when they write those players > themselves. > This is a bit cumbersome. Perhaps split it up into two parts, one covering the who, and the other covering the why. Maybe something like. Although widely used, MP3 format poses an issue for many software users and developers -- especially those who are committed to using the GNU/Linux free software system. The reason MP3 is problematic is because it is encumbered by software patents that prevent developers from freely and openly being able to create software that create and plays MP3 files. There's a new audio format called Ogg Vorbis that is not restricted by any > patents. I wouldn't emphasize that it is new. Instead emphasize that is a mature and well adopted format at the beginning, and in the same line mention that Wikipedia exclusively uses it. Then in the next sentence, align yourself with Wikipedia and then start using the phrase "We" instead of "I". e.g., "We choose Ogg because it is unencumbered by patents. We choose Ogg because it works without special plugins in browsers. And we choose it because ...." > My organization, The Free Software Foundation, has an interest in > promoting adoption of these free formats, and we may be able to arrange > publicity for your announcement and your ongoing offering, if you decide > to undertake this project. > Perhaps you could wrap up with a quick story. Tell how the Free Software Foundation worked with WBUR (Boston's NPR news station) in their efforts to provide an Ogg Vorbis stream and that you helped to promote them afterward, etc (you don't have to emphasize the protest aspects of it ;-)).
