Enjoy. ----- Original Message ----- From: "Eddie Salonga" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: [EMAIL PROTECTED], [EMAIL PROTECTED], [EMAIL PROTECTED], [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: [philbbs] Fwd: Klingon Programmer Date: Thu, 02 Dec 2004 16:43:37 +0800
> > > as stolen from another yahoogroup: > > > > And here's what a Klingon programmer would tell you: > > > > 1. Defensive programming? Never! Klingon programs are always on the > > offense. Yes, offensive programming is what we do best. > > > > 2. Specifications are for the weak and timid! > > > > 3. This machine is GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do > > battle with this code! > > > > 4. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the > > original Klingon. > > > > 5. Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull! > > > > 6. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software > > 'releases'. Our software 'escapes' leaving a bloody trail of designers > > and quality assurance people in its wake. > > > > 7. Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have > > 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM. > > > > 8. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the > > weak. Bugs are good for building character in the user. > > > > 9. I have challenged the entire ISO-9000 quality assurance team to a > > Bat-Leth contest on the holodeck. They will not concern us again. > > > > 10. A TRUE Klingon Warrior does not comment his code! > > > > 11. By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my > > family. Prepare to die! > > > > 12. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you > > where you stand! > > > > 13. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! > > Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are! > > > > 14. Our competitors are without honor! > > > > 15. Python? That is for children. A Klingon Warrior uses only machine > > code, keyed in on the front panel switches in raw binary. > > > > 16. Klingon programs don't do accountancy. For that, you need a Ferengi. > > > > 17. Klingon multitasking systems do not support "time-sharing". When a > > Klingon program wants to run, it challenges the scheduler in > > hand-to-hand combat and owns the machine. > > > > 18. Perhaps it IS a good day to die! I say we ship it! > > > > 19. My program has just dumped Stova Core! > > > > 20. Behold, the keyboard of Kalis! The greatest Klingon code warrior > > that ever lived! -------------------------------------------------------------------- mail2web - Check your email from the web at http://mail2web.com/ . -- Philippine Linux Users' Group (PLUG) Mailing List [EMAIL PROTECTED] (#PLUG @ irc.free.net.ph) Official Website: http://plug.linux.org.ph Searchable Archives: http://marc.free.net.ph . To leave, go to http://lists.q-linux.com/mailman/listinfo/plug . Are you a Linux newbie? To join the newbie list, go to http://lists.q-linux.com/mailman/listinfo/ph-linux-newbie
