On Sat, 15 May 2010 19:52:45 -0600 Stuart Jansen <[email protected]> wrote:
> On Sat, 2010-05-15 at 14:55 -0600, Von Fugal wrote: > > Wow, what a thread. I started flagging posts that I wanted to > > respond to specifically. Well, there were far too many. I might yet > > respond to a few. > > Sorry, you're too late to the party. This thread was retconed by the > "external USB recommendation?" thread in which it was revealed that > Jack the Ripper was cryogenically frozen in a Victorian ice house then > revived during WWII to assasinate Hilter. When he failed to do so, MI5 > discovered that the person revived was not in fact Jack the Ripper but > merely a butler who had been hypnotized. The actual Jack the Ripper > was in fact still living in Russia under the name Vladmir Lenin. And, > in a shocking twist, had previously used the name Niccolò > Machiavelli. Marx was just a patsy. As a personal challenge, > Machiavelli/Jack the Ripper/Lenin decided to engineer the collapse of > human society by using the eastern bloc to force western economic > models toward exaggerated extremes. Thankfully Isaac Asimov foresaw > the danger and, using Harry Seldon as a mouth piece, adjusted the > trajectory of the collapse to instead produce the recent financial > panic. Ayn Rand, daughter of Machiavelli/Jack the Ripper/Lenin, tried > to counter this influence. Fortunately, while she did manage to > disorient several generations of college sophomores, she never > achieved the wholesale neural slaughter she targeted. > > And that is how Ernest Saved Christmas. > Jeez, louise, Stuart, you forgot the most important actors in the whole thing: the Easter and Energizer Bunnies, who, working with a crack team of jackalopes, actually did Issac Asimov's wet work because he was too busy learning how to use the Trash-80 Tandy dropped off on his doorstep early one morning and singing the Irish Washerwoman in Gaelic. For example, they got Rand addicted to cigarettes with gold dollar signs on them as a plot to distract her. And Hari Seldon (cousin of Mata Hari, who was Japanese, not Dutch) didn't do squat. He was actually a Disney Anamatronic simulacrum, and when Walt became a corpsicle, they accidentally froze the Hari Seldon tapes with Walt. Since Walt is now buried in a landslide in Valles Marineris (that Disneyland ride was more realistic than everyone thought at the time!), the Seldon animatronic is silent, and Barak Obama is about to nominate it to the Supreme Court. Otherwise a good summary treatment of the whole thing. -- Charles Curley /"\ ASCII Ribbon Campaign Looking for fine software \ / Respect for open standards and/or writing? X No HTML/RTF in email http://www.charlescurley.com / \ No M$ Word docs in email Key fingerprint = CE5C 6645 A45A 64E4 94C0 809C FFF6 4C48 4ECD DFDB /* PLUG: http://plug.org, #utah on irc.freenode.net Unsubscribe: http://plug.org/mailman/options/plug Don't fear the penguin. */
