What if I just spent my Valuable Time Reading this?!?!?!? Do I have a Lawsuit?
;-) On Sep 24, 6:09 pm, Jim Willis <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Hi I’m John Edwards. You may remember me from such campaigns as the > 2004 presidential election and as a candidate in 2008. Unfortunately I > won’t be able to serve you publicly because; apparently women cannot > keep their mouths shut. Still, I can take your money when I take on > your case and win you millions in a genuine lawsuit. If you’ve been > wronged I’ll make it right, with a hefty judgment. We’ll sue for > anything and I mean anything. Cat in a tree, daughter knocked up, > stubbed toe, you name it, and we’ll sue. We’ll sue for you. After all, > you just might have a lawsuit. > > If your favorite Thai restaurant has given you explosive diarrhea > causing stains on your bathroom ceiling; you just might have a > lawsuit. > > If your wife left you for a Shetland pony and the irresponsible farmer > refuses to pound his pony; you just might have a lawsuit. > > If your sexual diversions result in a dalliance with your first > cousin, resulting in a water-headed, retard baby, with green hair; you > just might have a lawsuit. > > If colonel Sanders has turned your blushing bride into a fat ass baby > whale, causing her moo-moo to look like a thong; you just might have a > lawsuit. > > If you voted for Al Gore in 2000 and now the CIA is talking to you > through your electric toaster and forcing you to spend your days > watching Green Acres re-runs and making hats for cats; well my crazy > friend; you just might have a lawsuit. > > If your breast enlargement resulted in the smothering death of your > latest, “date”; you just might have a lawsuit. > > If you suffered post-partum syndrome resulting in you drowning all ten > of your children and all of the neighborhood children on your block; > you just might have a lawsuit. > > If you’ve ever had gas after watching Oprah; you just might have a > lawsuit. > > If you’ve ever ran down an elderly American while drunk and said to > yourself, “Hey dude, it’s big alcohols fault” then; you just might > have a lawsuit. > > If you’re suffering PMS and you violently stab your husband to death > because you’ve told him one million damn times to put down the toilet > seat and he said, “yes those slacks make you look fat” and he’s always > watching football, so you stabbed him, 80, 90 times, well then; you > just might have a lawsuit. > > If you’ve just settled down to a sexy rendezvous with you’re boyfriend > and you husband comes home early, catches you in bed and angrily > shoots your boyfriend dead, getting blood on your favorite lingerie; > you just might have a lawsuit. > > If you’re African American and you’ve been playing the lottery every > damn day with money you stole from work and you never win because > you’re a minority and some white dude wins keeping the black guy down > and because of that you get arrested for mugging some old white chick > in a walker and the, “man” charges you with murder, just because she > died, when you only hit her once in the head with that crowbar and she > only died because she’s a racist, well then; you just might have a > lawsuit. > > If after a hard day as a construction foreman you enjoy dressing up in > a polka dot dress and climbing a water tower, picking off short people > with a high powered rifle while singing Streisand show tunes and > plotting your next fantasy football trade, you guessed it; you just > might have a lawsuit. > > If you’ve ever considered hiring me as your lawyer and you’re not an > escapee from a mental institution, then definitely; you just might > have a lawsuit. > Conservative Springfield 25 SEP 08 --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
