From: Travis
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From: Chuck Shepherd
Date: Sun, Sep 28, 2008
Subject: News of the Weird, September 28, 2008
WEIRDNUZ.M077 (News of the Weird, September 28, 2008)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Angela Pusateri, 79, may be unconventional, but, according to
Jenna, 13, "She really is a cool grandmother." The Hallandale
Beach, Fla., woman is a rap-music singer with a new CD ("Who's
Your Granny?") and occasional playdates, where she shows up in
hockey jersey, jewels, sunglasses, and baseball cap. Sample rap:
"I can bring the noise better than P-Diddy / I am older and wiser, I
ain't a disguiser / I am condo commando in a high-riser, Who's
your granny?" Also, "Move over, Trick-Daddy, 'cause this is my
town / I gotta shuffleboard posse and we're known to get down."
Actually, conceded Jenna to the South Florida Sun-Sentinel in
September, "Sometimes it's embarrassing." [South Florida Sun-
Sentinel, 9-8-08]
Cultural Diversity
* "In many ways," reported the Los Angeles Times in August, the
Torajans of Indonesia's Sulawesi Island "spend a lifetime preparing
for their demise," in that the most glorious highlight of their
existence appears to be planning the elaborate celebration of the
end of it. In fact, taking one's last breath is only the beginning of a
lengthy tribute, such as the one for Toraja's last king, who died in
2003 but has not been put away yet, pending completion of the
necessary ritual animal sacrifices. (In the interim, the deceased is
considered more "sick" than "dead.") Said one local ("cheerfully,"
according to the Times), "Torajans! [We] live to die!" [Los
Angeles Times, 8-14-08]
* About 250,000 women in the southern India states of Karnataka
and Maharashtra are self-described "elite" sex workers whose
impoverished, or devoutly pious, parents "dedicated" them as
children to the Hindu goddess Yellamma, according to an August
dispatch in The New Yorker. Despite the state's outlawing the
practice in 1982, the women's fate as "devadasis" remains an
attractive alternative to ordinary marriage (which would usually be
to poor and abusive men) and provides a degree of status, in that
they dress nicely and can inherit family property, while street
prostitutes cannot. However, devadasis still fall victim to the
region's rampant HIV rate. [The New Yorker, 8-4-08]
* Castrillo de Murcia, Spain, lacks a "running of the bulls"
tradition, but since 1620, it has included in its annual El Colacho
festival a "leaping over the babies." In late May, the town's infants
are laid on mattresses in the village square, and people in red-and-
yellow devil costumes jump over them, and keep running, to
symbolize the vanquishing of demons from their lives. [Spiegel, 8-
28-08]
Latest Religious Messages
* Toward a More Accessible Anglican Church: (1) In August,
Birmingham Cathedral announced plans to open a series of wine
bars in London, as (according to an official) one of the "alternative
ways" of engaging non-church-goers. (2) The new church curate in
Dursley, Gloustershire, is Rev. Skye Denno, 29, a married mother
of two, whose down time is spent in biker boots, hot pants, a dog
collar, and her six piercings, listening to the Sex Pistols. Said she,
"I don't do it to be difficult. [I] think it makes me more
approachable." [BBC News, 9-1-08] [Daily Telegraph (London), 9-
8-08]
The Continuing Crisis
* The Nebraska legislature's new "safe haven" law for unwanted
babies, like other states' laws, allows them to be dropped off
anonymously at hospitals, to discourage abortions (and neglect by
unfit parents). However, unlike other states' laws, Nebraska's
applies not just to infants, but "minors," because, said Sen. Tom
White, "All children deserve our protection." In September, the
first two non-infants were abandoned, as exasperated parents gave
up on rebellious sons aged 11 and 15, and critics say the law could
apply to those up to age 19. [Lincoln Journal Star, 9-15-08]
* In August, the U.S. Department of Transportation unveiled new
rules for train and bus drivers returning from work from drug-use
suspensions. They must now be tested first by a strip search to
detect devices for cheating (such as artificial penises), and if none
is found, they may re-dress themselves, but a monitor must still
"directly watch the urine as it goes from the employee's body into
the collection container." Not surprisingly, several unions have
challenged the rule in court. [Railway Age, 8-13-08]
* In July, Abbie Hawkins, 19, a hotel receptionist in Norwich,
England, said she found a baby bat nestled inside the padded bra
she had been wearing for several hours. "When I was driving to
work, I felt a slight vibration but I thought it was just my mobile
phone in my jacket pocket," she told the Daily Telegraph.
Hawkins had fetched the bra off of a clothesline that morning,
where it had been hanging overnight. First reaction: "I thought
how mean I was for disturbing it." [Daily Telegraph, 7-8-08]
Fine Points of the Law
* Joey Bergamine, 19, who is preparing for a re-trial in
Fayetteville, N.C., on a DUI charge stemming from a July 2007
incident, will argue that he should have been advised of his right to
have a lawyer present when his father kicked open his bedroom
door hours after the incident to help police officers who had come
to question him. Joey's father is the police chief of Fayetteville,
and Joey's lawyer said entering a locked room, as well as the
subsequent interrogation, constituted "police" action and not
"parental" action, and since his dad failed to "Mirandize" him, the
charge should be dismissed. [Fayetteville Observer, 8-16-08]
The Weirdo-American Community
* Barbie's Not Just a Girls' Obsession: (1) Robert Martin, 47, was
arrested in Cape May, N.J., in July after a State Police officer
spotted an array of pornographic magazines in his car in a public
parking lot, along with a serving platter resting on his dashboard,
piled with women's underwear, and a collection of naked Barbie
dolls lined up on the seat. (2) Christopher Sullivan, 43, was
arrested in Oshkosh, Wis., in August as the person who allegedly
sent his upstairs neighbors threatening packages, including a
Polaroid photo of three naked Barbie dolls with their heads cut off.
He told police he was angry that the couple were too loud when
they had sex. [WKYW-TV (Philadelphia), 7-10-08] [The
Northwestern (Oshkosh), 8-26-08]
Recurring Themes
* Least Competent Criminals: (1) Michael Mahoney, 25, is the
most recent rapist (according to police in Somerville, Mass.) to
believe he is such hot stuff that he gave his phone number to the
victim, certain that he had charmed her into wanting to keep seeing
him. Police quickly arrested him in July at home, where he lives
with his parents. (2) In July, convicted sexual molester Donald
Fox, 62, of Frederick, Md., became the most recent convict to
challenge the unfairness of his sentence (40 years in prison) and
then have the appeals court agree it was unfair, except because it
was too short (he's now serving 60 years). [Boston Herald, 7-9-08]
[Frederick News-Post, 7-23-08]
* More Ways to Consume that Heavenly Food: The fourth annual
Big Tex Choice award for best taste this year (at a precursor event
to September's Texas State Fair) went to Glen Kusak's chicken
fried bacon. Earlier this summer, fourth generation candymaker
Joseph Marini III introduced chocolate-covered bacon bon-bons at
his stand on California's Santa Cruz Boardwalk. For the more
sophisticated, restaurateur Don Yovicsin of Waltham, Mass.,
serves bacon-infused Absolut vodka (allowed to sit for four weeks'
time and then filtered of the bits) (and for a Bacon Bloody Mary,
add mix, a lime wedge, "Barbecue rub," and a Slim Jim). [Dallas
Morning News, 9-2-08] [MSNBC-AP, 8-8-08] [Boston Herald, 9-
3-08]
Undignified Deaths
* (1) A 21-year-old man fishing off Jones Beach on New York's
Long Island in July was killed when he yanked his line back too
quickly, propelling his three-ounce lead sinker out of the water,
where it struck his head and penetrated his brain. (2) A 32-year-
old man lounging beside a pool in Leland, N.C., in August was
killed when a burst of wind dislodged a canopy umbrella, thrusting
the tip into his skull. (3) A 79-year-old motorist watching a crane
lift a steeple onto a new church in Oklahoma City in July was
killed when the crane toppled over and crushed his car. [Newsday,
7-29-08] [Wilmington Star News, 8-9-08] [KOCO-TV (Oklahoma
City), 7-24-08]
Thanks This Week to Peter Hine, Gary Abbott, Larry
Williams, Jeffrey Deutsch, George Cicotte, Don Schullian, Paul
Vogt, Sam Gaines, and Tim Farley, and to the News of the Weird
Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net <http://www.weirduniverse.net/> (or
www.NewsoftheWeird.com <http://www.newsoftheweird.com/>) or
mail [EMAIL PROTECTED] / P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33629.
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