http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2010/12/24/local-government-stupidity-contest/
Local Government Stupidity Contest

This post could be entitled, “So many dumb bureaucrats, so little time,”
but let’s have some fun and turn it into a contest. Which bone-headed
decision by a local government best exemplifies mindless bureaucracy,
politically correct nonsense, and government waste?

Contestant Number One is Sgt Brian Albert of the Baltimore County Natural
Resources Police <http://www.wbaltv.com/r/26190428/detail.html>, who fined
two men $90 each for the vicious, horrible, nasty crime of …(please don’t
faint)… rescuing a deer. Yes, your eyes do not deceive you. Two hardened
criminals used an inflatable raft to free a helpless animal, but they
flouted the law by not wearing life jackets. Since I already did a blog
post about a man being fined for rescuing a wounded
deer<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2010/12/04/great-moments-in-state-government-stupidity/>,
I guess the moral of the story is that bureaucrats don’t like Bambi.

Contestant Number Two is the Metro Police in Washington, DC, which has
decided to harass random travelers
<http://www.wtop.com/?sid=2208581&nid=25>by searching their bags
before they board the subway. This is akin to the TSA’s
mindless 
bureaucracy<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/time-to-shut-down-the-tsa/>–
but even worse. There surely are nut-jobs who would like to blow up
Americans, but they could do that on a bus, on a crowded street during rush
hour, or any other place where a large number of people are gathered. Heck,
they can drive a car into a crowd. Good intelligence by the CIA and FBI is
the way to stop these crackpots, not empty security theater that makes life
more difficult for law-abiding people.

Contestant Number Three is the St. Paul School District in Minnesota, which
has turned all schools into “sweet-free
zones.”<http://www.startribune.com/local/stpaul/112131574.html>This
ban also applies to salty foods, however that is defined, and deals “a
blow to booster clubs and parent organizations, too, which won’t be able to
sell hot chocolate, doughnuts, candy bars and cookies at school events.” I
actually agree with Michelle Obama that American kids are overweight, but I
also know that government intervention isn’t going to solve the
problem<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2010/08/03/the-first-ladys-misguided-crusade/>unless
we want a police state that bans video games, TVs, computers, and
the other technological developments that are responsible for sedentary
kids.

Contestant Number Four is Battlefield High School, in Haymarket, VA, which
disciplined 10 unrepentant gang
members<http://www.wusa9.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=126671&catid=188>.
What did these thugs do to warrant detention? Brace yourself and make sure
no children are looking over your shoulders, because these hoodlums belong
to a particularly nasty group called the Christmas Sweater Club and they
got in trouble for handing out miniature candy canes. One school
administrator (Mrs. Grinch?)  explained that “not everyone wants Christmas
cheer,” thus turning Jay Leno’s parody into
reality<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2010/12/17/jay-leno-al-qaeda-and-the-war-against-christmas/>
.

So who wins the prize? I’m not technologically advanced enough to include a
poll with this question, so the only thing we can really conclude is that
governments do dumb things. That’s true at the national level, the state
level, and the local level.

I just wish I could write like Dave Barry. He had a hilarious column many
years 
ago<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2010/03/06/classic-political-humor-from-dave-barry/>that
was based on various examples of government stupidity. This post is
more likely to make you cry rather than laugh, which is not good at this
time of year. Nonetheless, feel free to comment if you think one of these
stories stands out.

The bad news is that governments do a lot of things they shouldn’t do. The
good news is that I never run out of material.

I’ve even created some sub-categories, such as my U.S. vs U.K. government
stupidity 
contest<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/the-united-kingdom-is-doomed-by-a-perniciously-wimpy-form-of-political-correctness/>and
my great-moments-in-local-government
series<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2013/07/09/great-moments-in-local-government-pick-your-favorite-example-of-thuggery-and-incompetence/>
.

But I never thought I would have a special category about bureaucrats vs.
Bambi.

1. Bureaucrats in Virginia filed three misdemeanor charges against a
man<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2010/12/04/great-moments-in-state-government-stupidity/>for
the horrible crime of rescuing a deer that was hit by a car.

2. Bureaucrats in Maryland fined two men $90
each<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2010/12/24/local-government-stupidity-contest/>for
not having life jackets when they had the gall to rescue a deer that
fell through some ice.

3. Bureaucrats in Indiana are threatening prison time for a
family<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/great-moments-in-state-government-pinhead-bureaucrats-threaten-family-with-possible-prison-sentence-for-rescuing-a-baby-deer/>that
rescued a baby deer from coyotes.

The paper pushers of the world seem to harbor a special grudge against
these harmless ruminants, since we now have another story about a baby
deer. But this time, Bambi was the victim, not the family.

Here are some of the unbelievable details from a local news
report<http://www.wisn.com/news/armed-agents-raid-animal-shelter-for-baby-deer/-/9373668/21272108/-/wvh1n7z/-/index.html>
.

Two weeks ago, Schulze was working in the barn at the Society of St.
Francis on the Kenosha-Illinois border when a swarm of squad cars arrived
and officers unloaded with a search warrant. “(There were) nine DNR agents
and four deputy sheriffs, and they were all armed to the teeth,” Schulze
said. The focus of their search was a baby fawn brought there by an
Illinois family worried she had been abandoned by her mother.

My first reaction when reading this was “what the @#$*?” Is he public
sector really so bloated that 13 bureaucrats have nothing better to do than
to serve a search warrant for a baby deer?

And why on earth were they heavily armed? Were they expecting Osama Bin
Bambi?

But don’t answer yet, because it gets more absurd.

The Department of Natural Resources began investigating after two anonymous
calls reporting a baby deer at the no-kill shelter. The warden drafted an
affidavit for the search warrant, complete with aerial photos in which he
described getting himself into a position where he was able to see the fawn
going in and out of the barn.

I’m not sure what part of this excerpt gets me more upset, the fact that
some snitch informed on the shelter for having a baby deer, or the fact
that the government is so wasteful that bureaucrats went through the cost
of arranging aerial surveillance!

 Dangerous criminal executed

As a taxpayer, I get agitated about the waste of money. As a decent human
being, this next part bothers me even more.

“I was thinking in my mind they were going to take the deer and take it to
a wildlife shelter, and here they come carrying the baby deer over their
shoulder. She was in a body bag,” Schulze said. “I said, ‘Why did you do
that?’ He said, ‘That’s our policy,’ and I said, ‘That’s one hell of a
policy.’”

The local cops justified the overkill approach by equating an animal
shelter with a crack house.

“Could you have made a phone call before showing up, I mean, that’s a lot
of resources,” WISN 12 News investigative reporter Colleen Henry asked. “If
a sheriff’s department is going in to do a search warrant on a drug bust,
they don’t call them and ask them to voluntarily surrender their marijuana
or whatever drug that they have before they show up,” Niemeyer said,

Horrified citizens are complaining and fighting back, though I’m not
holding my breath that justice will be served.

Schultz said she plans to sue the DNR for removing Giggles without even a
court hearing. She also questioned what such an operation costs taxpayers.
“They went way over the top for a little tiny baby deer,” Schultz said,

Remember, though, that this type of government thuggery is hardly unusual.

The Food and Drug Administration raided a
dairy<https://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2011/05/01/the-federal-milk-police-are-protecting-us-praise-the-lord/>for
the terrible crime of selling unpasteurized milk to people who prefer
unpasteurized milk.

New York City imposed a $30,000 fine on a small
shop<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2012/03/26/great-moments-in-local-government-the-new-york-city-edition/>because
it sold a toy gun.

The pinheads at the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission went after
Hooters<https://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2012/05/27/from-hooters-to-marylous-great-moments-in-eeoc-bureaucracy/>for
not having any male waiters in hot pants and tight t-shirts.

An unlucky guy wound up in legal hot water for releasing some heart-shaped
balloons<http://danieljmitchell.wordpress.com/2013/03/03/great-moments-in-state-government/>to
impress his sweetheart.

Yup, our tax dollars at work. And Obama thinks government is too small and
needs more of our money so it can do even more things.


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