> > -- If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it > again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.. > > (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss > America 1995.) > Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? > Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, > because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, > but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," > --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. > > "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, > I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with > all those flies and death and stuff." > --Mariah Carey > > > > "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of > your life," > -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal > anti-smoking campaign > > "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," > --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. > > "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates > in the country," > --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . > "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and > I'm just the one to do it," > --A congressional candidate in Texas . > > "Half this game is ninety percent mental." > --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark > > "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in > our air and water that are doing it.." > --Al Gore, Vice President > > "I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .." > -- Dan Quayle > > "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?" > --Lee Iacocca > , > > > "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like > Norman Einstein." > --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst. > > > > "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of > people." > -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor. > > > > "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we > received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if > there is a change in your circumstances." > --Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina > ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, > "Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come from overseas." > --Keppel Enderbery > > "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they > go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the > next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." > -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman > ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, > > Feeling smarter yet? > > > > __._,_.___
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