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*Have you got what it takes to be a member of Hamas?* Have you got what it takes to be a member of Hamas? Would you like to find out if you are suited to serve with the most dedicated underground movement in the Middle East? Take this test and see! 1. A hospital is: a) A place to bring injured and sick people; b) A good place to stage a propaganda video; c) A handy place to leave a cache of artillery rockets; d) All of the above. 2. The best time to call a ceasefire is: a) Because I'm late for my piano lessons; b) When distinguished statesmen beg me to; c) When the dead and injured are overtaxing our medical services; d) When I shot all the bullets in my Kalashnikov. 3. Over half of the water supplied to my town comes from an Israeli water desalinization plant. Should I: a) Pay my utility bills on time; b) Craft a proposal to build a desalinization plant of my own; c) Take an extra long time every week in the shower; d) Carefully sight and fire a sheaf of Fajr-5 rockets at it. 4. There is a proposal to build a new playground at the local school, I'll endorse it because: a) It is always so charming to see the children playing together; b) Healthy outdoor play is good for the health and development of the kids; c) It will contribute to the quality of the school and the community; d) It will offer a firmer support to my mortar base-plate. 5. A truckload of concrete mix and rebar has just arrived. This is good news because: a) I can finally build that third floor to the family home; b) We can finally started on the new swimming pool for the school; c) Maybe the town council is serious about building a new market; d) The latest tunnel snaking towards the Israelis needs flooring. 6. Fatima al-Kadr, from the apartment below ours is getting skingrafts in an Israeli hospital. That's nice because: a) Somehow, underneath it all, there is a common sense of humanity and decency in the world, b) It's good that she is finally getting the treatment she needs; c) It was getting sort of awkward because I had a lot of Grad rockets stashed in our clinic; d) 'Cuz maybe I can coerce her into becoming a shaheed by wearing a bomb vest next time she goes. 7. I've managed to really annoy the Israelis and they've got Hellfire Missile with my name on it. Should I: a) Vigorously denounce their high-handed and provocative aggression; b) Make sure I live with my family in one of the lower-floors of our multi-level apartment building; c) Encourage women and children to stand on the roof in a display of solidarity when I'm feeling particularly nervous; d) Start tunneling down in the basement. 8. My first major purchase on graduating from High School was: a) A chair and hair-trimming gear so I could start my own barber shop; b) A used car so I could start making a living driving a taxi; c) A good quality computer and modem for access to the internet (and porn!) d) An AK-47 of my very own... 9. When posing for a Selfie, I like to be photographed while: a) Taking in the night life at the most swinging joint in Gaza; b) Relaxing at home with the wife and kids; c) Relaxing at home with my newest wife and the latest kids; d) Doing cool 'human panther' poses with some of my weaponry. 10. I believe peace with Israel is possible because: a) Heck, we're all reasonable people at heart; b) A whole load of professional negotiators and reconciliation experts are standing by to help us; c) All friction will end when I am free to import all the steel pipes, ball-bearings, concrete, and North Korean machine parts I could possibly want; d) It won't exist if I have my way. Answers: Award yourself 1 point for every answer of a), 1.5 points for every answer of b), 2 points for every answer of c), and 4 points for every answer of d). Add up all your points. 10-16: Obviously you are not bright enough to join Hamas, but there could be an exciting career for you as a journalist! 17-22: Have you considered submitting your resume to the UN? UNWRA could use you. 23-28: Gosh, you're pretty cynical. You must be an ordinary Israeli or an American conservative. 29-34: Not everyone associated with Hamas gets to run around wearing a bomb-vest and toting an assault rifle. Apply anyway for positions with our fund-raising and propaganda department. 35+: Irony? What's that? Your single-mindedness are what we need! Join Hamas today! __._,_.___ ------------------------------ Posted by: "Beowulf" <[email protected]> ------------------------------ Visit Your Group <https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/grendelreport/info;_ylc=X3oDMTJmNjAzODBtBF9TAzk3MzU5NzE0BGdycElkAzIwMTk0ODA2BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTMyMzY2NwRzZWMDdnRsBHNsawN2Z2hwBHN0aW1lAzE0MDcxMDQyMzI-> [image: Yahoo! Groups] <https://groups.yahoo.com/neo;_ylc=X3oDMTJlZ3JxZzk5BF9TAzk3NDc2NTkwBGdycElkAzIwMTk0ODA2BGdycHNwSWQDMTcwNTMyMzY2NwRzZWMDZnRyBHNsawNnZnAEc3RpbWUDMTQwNzEwNDIzMg--> • Privacy <https://info.yahoo.com/privacy/us/yahoo/groups/details.html> • Unsubscribe <[email protected]?subject=Unsubscribe> • Terms of Use <https://info.yahoo.com/legal/us/yahoo/utos/terms/> __,_._,___ -- -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. 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