My Wig Was Beautiful and Expensive, and Everybody Loved It—Except Me When I got married, my sheitel was a symbol of my vows and my Orthodoxy. Then it became a symbol of my discontent. By Tova Ross <http://www.tabletmag.com/author/tova-ross/> *(Shutterstock <http://www.shutterstock.com>)* [image: Related Content] <http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/109456/searching-for-the-perfect-wig> Searching for the Perfect Wig <http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/109456/searching-for-the-perfect-wig> Other Orthodox women cover their hair with beautiful sheitels. Why does mine make me look like Marge Simpson? By Carol Ungar <http://www.tabletmag.com/author/carol-ungar/> My Fashion Choices—and My Husband’s—Reveal the Risks of Looking Hasidic <http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/135012/fashion-looking-hasidic> How people treat us in public often depends on what we’re wearing on our heads, whether it’s my wig or his yarmulke By Chaya Rivka Zwolinski <http://www.tabletmag.com/author/chaya-rivka-zwolinski/> Pants, Pants Revolution: How My First Pair of Jeans Redefined Modesty for Me <http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/120311/pants-pants-revolution> When I bought jeans recently, I redefined what ‘tzniut’ means to me as an Orthodox woman By Simi Lampert <http://www.tabletmag.com/author/simi-lampert/> I envied the less-observant Jews who came to our Chabad services, who could do as they please with no expectations, and who could appear at shul once in a blue moon and to such enthusiastic welcome. These Jews adhered to few if any religious restrictions and checked their phones and jingled car keys restlessly—and our rabbi continued radiating pride at them, just for showing up. I began to wonder why just a few seats away, I was adhering to things for which I felt little affinity, like head coverings, and it deeply rankled me that I received no approbation from others for keeping to stricter standards that I felt stifled by when I didn’t fully agree with or understand the reasoning behind them. My resentment toward Esmeralda grew.
My first foray outdoors without any head covering at all, however inadvertent it was, emboldened me to experiment further, as did our move away to a Modern Orthodox community in New Jersey. Those *mitpachot *and bandanas became wide headbands and then thin headbands, and then no headbands. Leggings and jeans found their way into my wardrobe <http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/120311/pants-pants-revolution>. I ate salad at a non-kosher eatery in Manhattan with an unaffiliated friend, and though I looked around furtively with each bite of lettuce for some kind of kosher mafia man to berate me, it was ultimately uneventful, as were my naked head and new style choices that made me no different to many of the Jews in my new neighborhood. My parents and siblings have struggled to understand my choices to portray my inner uncertainty about my observance outwardly and my difficulty upholding things that to them are the norm. And while my spouse has been open to and supportive of my exploration, he truly, genuinely loves the rules I find so restrictive and finds that they enhance his spirituality while I have come to feel that they only hinder mine. It’s been difficult to traverse unchartered territory and a path different from the one envisioned at our wedding. We both often comment on the irony and different religious outlooks we’ve come to after my firmly Orthodox background and his laissez-faire Conservative one. I joke that if we want our son to grow up to be a content Orthodox Jew, we should send him to public school and Hebrew school a couple of times a month, since he might have inherited our tendency to be drawn to observe religion differently than our parents. On an individual level, these attempts at finding a footing where I am comfortable have felt right to me, or at least neutral. I don’t think I have become a “worse” Jew because of them. If anything, I’ve become less resentful, and I’m grateful for it; I didn’t want my sincere love of Judaism to be displaced by my bitterness over following certain rules I didn’t think made me a “better” Jew than someone else or because I had somehow become a model of Orthodox Judaism to anyone. It had been a heavy weight to bear. Esmeralda now sits unused, perched atop my dresser, though her lustrous shine has dimmed from the collective dust bunnies and murky lighting present in my bedroom. I just can’t bring myself to put her in storage or sell her on the black market where she’d undoubtedly fetch a nifty resale price. She is the original symbol of my discontent, after all, and I’m still really fond of her—now that I don’t have to wear her. On Friday, August 8, 2014 7:07:48 AM UTC-5, Travis wrote: > > > > > BareNakedIslam posted: "Which causes many Saudi Muslims to lose their > minds. Outrage in Saudi Arabia after the TV newscaster becomes the first > woman to broadcast without wearing a hair- and face-covering headbag. The > presenter was broadcasting from the London studio of Al Ekhba" > New post on *BARE NAKED ISLAM* > <http://www.barenakedislam.com/?author=1> Oh, NOES! Female Saudi news > anchor dares to bare her hair on TV > <http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/08/08/oh-noes-female-saudi-news-anchor-dares-to-bare-her-hair-on-tv/> > by > BareNakedIslam <http://www.barenakedislam.com/?author=1> > > Which causes many Saudi Muslims to lose their minds. Outrage in Saudi > Arabia after the TV newscaster becomes the first woman to broadcast without > wearing a hair- and face-covering headbag. The presenter was broadcasting > from the London studio of Al Ekhbariya, a state-owned news station. > GroundZeroMosque > > Read more of this post > <http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/08/08/oh-noes-female-saudi-news-anchor-dares-to-bare-her-hair-on-tv/> > *BareNakedIslam <http://www.barenakedislam.com/?author=1>* | August 8, > 2014 at 2:50 am | Categories: Women > <http://www.barenakedislam.com/?taxonomy=category&term=women> | URL: > http://wp.me/p276zM-16Ix > > Comment > <http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/08/08/oh-noes-female-saudi-news-anchor-dares-to-bare-her-hair-on-tv/#respond> > > See all comments > <http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/08/08/oh-noes-female-saudi-news-anchor-dares-to-bare-her-hair-on-tv/#comments> > > > Unsubscribe > <https://subscribe.wordpress.com/?key=7f89380f46003915c34c2cdd2b126a38&email=bovinescatologists%40gmail.com&b=CfegI%2C4%7CR%5DBpNIOaT5rdUd_j%3FRvaejPbFGMAA%7CF1ujF4Zzr%5DNJ> > > to no longer receive posts from BARE NAKED ISLAM. > Change your email settings at Manage Subscriptions > <https://subscribe.wordpress.com/?key=7f89380f46003915c34c2cdd2b126a38&email=bovinescatologists%40gmail.com>. > > > > *Trouble clicking?* Copy and paste this URL into your browser: > > http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/08/08/oh-noes-female-saudi-news-anchor-dares-to-bare-her-hair-on-tv/ > > > > > -- -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. 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