My Wig Was Beautiful and Expensive, and Everybody Loved It—Except Me 

When I got married, my sheitel was a symbol of my vows and my Orthodoxy. 
Then it became a symbol of my discontent.
 By Tova Ross <http://www.tabletmag.com/author/tova-ross/>
 *(Shutterstock <http://www.shutterstock.com>)*
  [image: Related Content] 
  
<http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/109456/searching-for-the-perfect-wig>
 Searching 
for the Perfect Wig 
<http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/109456/searching-for-the-perfect-wig>
 
Other Orthodox women cover their hair with beautiful sheitels. Why does 
mine make me look like Marge Simpson? 
 By Carol Ungar <http://www.tabletmag.com/author/carol-ungar/> 
  My Fashion Choices—and My Husband’s—Reveal the Risks of Looking Hasidic 
<http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/135012/fashion-looking-hasidic>
 
How people treat us in public often depends on what we’re wearing on our 
heads, whether it’s my wig or his yarmulke 
 By Chaya Rivka Zwolinski 
<http://www.tabletmag.com/author/chaya-rivka-zwolinski/> 
  Pants, Pants Revolution: How My First Pair of Jeans Redefined Modesty for 
Me 
<http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/120311/pants-pants-revolution>
 
When I bought jeans recently, I redefined what ‘tzniut’ means to me as an 
Orthodox woman 
 By Simi Lampert <http://www.tabletmag.com/author/simi-lampert/> 
  
I envied the less-observant Jews who came to our Chabad services, who could 
do as they please with no expectations, and who could appear at shul once 
in a blue moon and to such enthusiastic welcome. These Jews adhered to few 
if any religious restrictions and checked their phones and jingled car keys 
restlessly—and our rabbi continued radiating pride at them, just for 
showing up. I began to wonder why just a few seats away, I was adhering to 
things for which I felt little affinity, like head coverings, and it deeply 
rankled me that I received no approbation from others for keeping to 
stricter standards that I felt stifled by when I didn’t fully agree with or 
understand the reasoning behind them. My resentment toward Esmeralda grew.

My first foray outdoors without any head covering at all, however 
inadvertent it was, emboldened me to experiment further, as did our move 
away to a Modern Orthodox community in New Jersey. Those *mitpachot *and 
bandanas became wide headbands and then thin headbands, and then no 
headbands. Leggings and jeans found their way into my wardrobe 
<http://www.tabletmag.com/jewish-life-and-religion/120311/pants-pants-revolution>.
 
I ate salad at a non-kosher eatery in Manhattan with an unaffiliated 
friend, and though I looked around furtively with each bite of lettuce for 
some kind of kosher mafia man to berate me, it was ultimately uneventful, 
as were my naked head and new style choices that made me no different to 
many of the Jews in my new neighborhood.

My parents and siblings have struggled to understand my choices to portray 
my inner uncertainty about my observance outwardly and my difficulty 
upholding things that to them are the norm. And while my spouse has been 
open to and supportive of my exploration, he truly, genuinely loves the 
rules I find so restrictive and finds that they enhance his spirituality 
while I have come to feel that they only hinder mine. It’s been difficult 
to traverse unchartered territory and a path different from the one 
envisioned at our wedding.

We both often comment on the irony and different religious outlooks we’ve 
come to after my firmly Orthodox background and his laissez-faire 
Conservative one. I joke that if we want our son to grow up to be a content 
Orthodox Jew, we should send him to public school and Hebrew school a 
couple of times a month, since he might have inherited our tendency to be 
drawn to observe religion differently than our parents.

On an individual level, these attempts at finding a footing where I am 
comfortable have felt right to me, or at least neutral. I don’t think I 
have become a “worse” Jew because of them. If anything, I’ve become less 
resentful, and I’m grateful for it; I didn’t want my sincere love of 
Judaism to be displaced by my bitterness over following certain rules I 
didn’t think made me a “better” Jew than someone else or because I had 
somehow become a model of Orthodox Judaism to anyone. It had been a heavy 
weight to bear.

Esmeralda now sits unused, perched atop my dresser, though her lustrous 
shine has dimmed from the collective dust bunnies and murky lighting 
present in my bedroom. I just can’t bring myself to put her in storage or 
sell her on the black market where she’d undoubtedly fetch a nifty resale 
price. She is the original symbol of my discontent, after all, and I’m 
still really fond of her—now that I don’t have to wear her.


On Friday, August 8, 2014 7:07:48 AM UTC-5, Travis wrote:
>
>
>
>
>    BareNakedIslam posted: "Which causes many Saudi Muslims to lose their 
> minds. Outrage in Saudi Arabia after the TV newscaster becomes the first 
> woman to broadcast without wearing a hair- and face-covering headbag. The 
> presenter was broadcasting from the London studio of Al Ekhba"   
>       New post on *BARE NAKED ISLAM*         
> <http://www.barenakedislam.com/?author=1>  Oh, NOES! Female Saudi news 
> anchor dares to bare her hair on TV 
> <http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/08/08/oh-noes-female-saudi-news-anchor-dares-to-bare-her-hair-on-tv/>
>  by 
> BareNakedIslam <http://www.barenakedislam.com/?author=1>  
>
> Which causes many Saudi Muslims to lose their minds. Outrage in Saudi 
> Arabia after the TV newscaster becomes the first woman to broadcast without 
> wearing a hair- and face-covering headbag. The presenter was broadcasting 
> from the London studio of Al Ekhbariya, a state-owned news station.   
> GroundZeroMosque
>
> Read more of this post 
> <http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/08/08/oh-noes-female-saudi-news-anchor-dares-to-bare-her-hair-on-tv/>
>   *BareNakedIslam <http://www.barenakedislam.com/?author=1>* | August 8, 
> 2014 at 2:50 am | Categories: Women 
> <http://www.barenakedislam.com/?taxonomy=category&term=women> | URL: 
> http://wp.me/p276zM-16Ix 
>
>  Comment 
> <http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/08/08/oh-noes-female-saudi-news-anchor-dares-to-bare-her-hair-on-tv/#respond>
>  
>    See all comments 
> <http://www.barenakedislam.com/2014/08/08/oh-noes-female-saudi-news-anchor-dares-to-bare-her-hair-on-tv/#comments>
>   
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