[image: CAP News] Dems Propose Using Jobless To Carry Oil From Canada To Texas
WASHINGTON (CAP) - Following the defeat of the Keystone XL initiative to run an oil pipeline from Canada down to the Texas coast, Democrats have offered a counter proposal that involves hiring unemployed Americans to create a human conveyor belt and pass buckets of oil one by one right down through the middle of the country to the Gulf. Democrats approve their own plan. "We know the Republicans plan to push the oil pipeline through when they take control of the Senate in January," said Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA), who championed the proposal. "We're just hoping to put an alternative in place before then. politics NEWS Joe Biden Pushes For More School Funding For 'Retards' <http://www.cap-news.com/.php?id=201409008> Rick Perry Indicted For Abuse Of Social Media <http://www.cap-news.com/.php?id=201409001> Palin, Brown Announce 2015 Presidential Bid <http://www.cap-news.com/.php?id=201408001> Biden Swaps More Prisoners For Fifth Of Scotch, Some Smokes <http://www.cap-news.com/.php?id=201406001> Christie Used Hurricane Funds To Host Furry Parties <http://www.cap-news.com/.php?id=201401006> "Obviously, we have a few details to work out," she added. "But I think we did pretty good on short notice." Democratic party leaders acknowledge that the first buckets to be handed down from Canada would take a while to reach the Gulf Coast, but once they arrive it will represent the start of an endless trickle of oil without the need for thousands of miles of unsightly metallic pipe. Environmentalists call it a good compromise. "Using that oil will be that much more satisfying knowing thousands of Americans worked so hard to get it to me," said social activist Samuel Avery. "Spillage could be an issue, but if everyone brings a tarp to stand on, we should be okay." However, Republicans lashed out at the idea, pointing out that the Bucket Carriers Union would want in on the action, which would drive up the cost of labor and therefore, oil prices. They called the idea "very shortsighted, even for a Democrat." "And how the hell are they going to get the empty buckets from Texas back up to Canada?" said Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY). "This country isn't made of buckets, you know. "There's a hole in your plan, dear Liza," McConnell added. "Dear Liza, a hole." The public interest group Schlep Across America has formally backed the proposal, which now heads to the Senate Subcommittee On Oil Dependence. TODAY'S TOP STORIES TV Watching At All-Time Low Among Homeless Children <http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201411005> Newest HBO Series To Feature Swearing, Breasts <http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201111008> Bill Would Ban Masturbating While Driving <http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200711004> Scientists Successfully Land Probe In Kim Kardashian's Cleavage <http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=201411004> Domino's Pizza Boosts Earnings With More Slices <http://www.cap-news.com/story.php?id=200911005> [image: Fake Advertisement] CAUGHT ON FILM [image: @KanyeWest #TheyCanKeepHim] President Obama touts the qualifications of new international diplomat Kanye West, who will bring peace to the Middle East. TO UNSUBSCRIBE, HIT REPLY AND ASK TO BE REMOVED FROM FUTURE MAILINGS. -- -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. --- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "PoliticalForum" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
