Senior Computer Skills.......
*Tech support: * What kind of computer do you have?
*Customer: * A white one...
*Tech support: * Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the
screen.
*Customer: * Your left or my left?
**************************
*Customer: * Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every
time I try, it says 'can’t find printer’.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but
the computer still says he can't find it..
***************************
*Customer: * My keyboard is not working anymore.
*Tech support: * Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
*Customer: * No. I can't get behind the computer.
*Tech support: * Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
*Customer: * OK
*Tech support: * Did the keyboard come with you?
*Customer:* Yes
*Tech support: * That means the keyboard is not plugged in.
***************************
*Customer: * I can't get on the Internet.
*Tech support: * Are you sure you used the right password?
*Customer: * Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
*Tech support: * Can you tell me what the password was?
*Customer: * Five dots.
***************************
*Tech support: *What anti-virus program do you use?
*Customer: * Netscape.
*Tech support: * That's not an anti-virus program.
*Customer: * Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer..
***************************
*Customer: * I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver
on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
***************************
*Tech support: * How may I help you?
*Customer: * I'm writing my first email.
*Tech support: * OK, and what seems to be the problem?
*Customer: * Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do
I get the little circle around it?
***************************
*This one and the next* *are our personal favorites!*
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
printer.
*Tech support: * Are you running it under windows?
*Customer: * 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine.'
**************************
*And last but* *not least!*
*Tech support: *'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
at the same time.
That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the
letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
*Customer: * I don't have a P.
*Tech support: *On your keyboard, Bob.
*Customer: * What do you mean?
*Tech support: *'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob.
*Customer: *I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT
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