1. Light travels faster  than sound. This is why some people appear bright 
until you hear  them speak. 

 
2. A fine is a tax for  doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 

 
3. He who laughs last,  thinks slowest.

 
4. A day without  sunshine is like, well, night.

 
5. Change is  inevitable, except from a vending machine.

 
6. Those who live by  the sword get shot by those who don't.

 
7. Nothing is foolproof  to a sufficiently talented fool.

 
8. The 50-50-90 rule:  Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something 
right, there's  a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.

 
9. It is said that if  you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, 
someone from  California would be stupid enough to try to pass  them.

 
10. If the shoe fits,  get another one just like it.

 
11. The things that  come to those who wait, may be the things left by 
those who got  there first.

 
12. Give a man a fish  and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and 
he will sit in a  boat all day drinking beer.

 
13. Flashlight: A case  for holding dead batteries.

 
14 . God gave you toes  as a device for finding furniture in the dark.

 
15. When you go into  court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 
twelve people, who  weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

 


















































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