If I had a dime for every time a libtard said something totally stupid, I
could pay off the national debt and still have enough left over for a cup of
kauphy at Starbucks.

On Mon, Dec 22, 2008 at 5:24 PM, Jim Willis <
[email protected]> wrote:

>
> Here at Evil Conservative Industries we care aboutpeople, people who
> need people. After all, they're the luckiest people in the world. Evil
> Conservative Industries is not only the largest producer of gruel for
> orphanages; oh no, our company is gearing up for the future in many
> capital ventures. And, with the Obama inauguration right around the
> corner you'll want to know just how we plan on surviving the, "Obama
> years" and what we can do for you.
> That's why we're proud to announce our partnership with Acme Education
> and Yahoo to bring a product right into your home and don't you want
> to know what it is? Our top flight researchers have calculated an 80%
> unemployment rate soon after Barry blows into Washington and a 110%
> federal tax on the 20% still employed. We don't have to tell you,
> that's bad news. Unless, you are prepared for the new economy and have
> the skills it will take to survive. That's where we come in folks.
> We're offering online educational courses that will guarantee
> prosperity for you and your family during the, "Barry Years". What
> could be more important to you? For a small fee* you too can live
> through this nightmare and vote Palin in 2012.
> Just take the time to look through the career options we offer online
> and choose the career that best suits you. After all; we're all in
> this together.
>
> High Classed Whore, or Lo Class Ho
> Syllabus: How to pick a pimp
>               How to hide money from your pimp
>               Shopping for a lawyer
>               Spotting a good bail bondman
>               Condoms 101
>               Competitive pricing
>               Product advertisement and marketing
>               Hygiene
>               Spandex
>               How to manage the police
>               How to make that corner pay
>
> Look at it this way; The Elliot Spitzer girl made $4000 an hour.
> Disclaimer, "There is no way your fat ass will make $4000 and hour".
> However, even a tubby like you could make $10 and hour in the hood;
> times 400 hours and there you go!
>
> Pick Pocket Artist
> Syllabus: Pick a pocket and get paid
>               Grafting
>               How to spot a rube
>               Making prison a positive
>               The pigeon swap techniques
>               Pursuing purses
>               Carnival classics
>               Flim Flam Fun
>
> Picking pockets isn't just a career choice. It's also a neat trick at
> parties, dinners or barmitsvas.
>
> Insurance Scammer
> Syllabus: This class has been filled with Trial Lawyers
>
> Loan Shark
> Syllabus: Knee capping
>               Gangster Vernacular
>               Bribing beat cops
>               Cement Shoes
>               Occupational math and the, "Vig"
>               Positive point spreads for professionals
>               How to beat the street 101
>
> Pimp
> Syllabus: The Social stigma of bitch slapping
>               Popular Whore holdout spots
>               Tricks of the trade
>               Fashion
>               Pimpin yo ride
>               Verbiage; I.E. "Yo, Yo, Yo lil' mama, wutz poppin wich
> yo fine lookin self'?
>               Pimp walkin'
>               Flashin' yo cash 101
>
> Shoplifting
> Syllabus: Grab and Dash
>                Fake pregnancy holdout
>                Where security won't look
>                Is that a CD in your pocket or are you happy to see
> me?
>                Be the felony
>
> Competitive Eating
> Syllabus: Purging Plans
>               Gut Busters
>               Tummy tricks
>               Gas avoidance
>                Keg abs
>
> Panhandler
> Syllabus: Forlorn facial expression
>               Brother can you spare a dime?
>               Medical excuses
>               Fake limping
>               Bum lingo
>
> Community organizing
> Syllabus: Rabble rousing
>               Effective protesting
>               Sign design
>               Tax dodges
>               Scamming for success
>               Taking it to the streets
>
>
>
>
>
> *Fee may be extremely large
> Conservative Springfield 23 DEC 08
> >
>


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