From: Travis
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From: Chuck Shepherd
Date: Sun, Dec 28, 2008
Subject: News of the Weird, December 28, 2008
WEIRDNUZ.M090 (News of the Weird, December 28, 2008)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2008 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* In several European countries, identifying the "naughty" kids at
Christmastime is not Santa's job but is left to unsavory legendary
icons who have endured for centuries (according to a December
series of articles in Germany's Der Spiegel). In Italy,
determinations are made by the extremely ugly witch La Befana,
who has the ability to fly her broomstick through keyholes into bad
kids' houses. In Austria, Krampus pays the naughty ones visits as a
7-foot-tall horned devil with a long tongue and a goat's head. And
in the Netherlands, Sinterklaas's helper is Zwarte Piet ("Black
Pete"), who, unlike Sinter, gets sooty when climbing down
chimneys delivering twigs to the shoes of misbehavers. (However,
the Netherlands pair has a big advantage over the North Pole-
dwelling Santa, in that they reside in sunny Spain and arrive at
Christmastime by steamship.) [Spiegel Online, 12-12-08, 12-2-08,
12-5-08]
Can't Possibly Be True
* In a March change of regulations, the Pentagon began saving
money by reducing "combat-injury" benefits for all except those
wounded while actually fighting, explaining that combat-"related"
injuries were simply not worthy of full compensation. Thus, in
examples offered by the Washington Post in November, Marine
Cpl. James Dixon and Army Sgt. Lori Meshell were not entitled to
full "combat-injury" coverage for their Iraq wounds (Dixon from a
roadside bomb and a land mine, and Meshell while diving for
cover during a mortar attack) because neither was actually fighting
at the time. (Dixon, initially denied about $16,000 by the
classification, recently won a hard-fought reversal, but Meshell,
drawing $1,200 less per month because of the change, is still
appealing.) [Washington Post, 11-25-08]
* The Seattle Post-Intelligencer, reporting the latest of ten lawsuits
against dentist Thomas Laney, 55, found "flaws" in Washington
state's medical disciplinary system, in that Laney was apparently
doing "full-body cosmetic surgeries." "Dentist"/"oral surgeon"
Laney was being sued this time by a woman for allegedly botching
her breast-reduction. His attorney told a reporter that negative
outcomes happen but that Laney should not be held responsible
unless the patient suffers deformities that are "terribly, terribly
wrong." (When an earlier patient of his died after surgery, Laney
was "disciplined" with a fine and an order to get additional
training.) [Seattle Post-Intelligencer, 11-9-08]
* The British Federation of Herpetologists announced in November
that the number of reptiles kept as pets in the UK is probably
greater than the number of dogs (8.5 million to about 6 million,
with cats at 9 million). One benchmark the Federation uses for its
calculation is the booming sales of reptile food, such as locusts,
frozen rodents, and crickets (now about 20 million a week). [Daily
Telegraph (London), 11-24-08]
Inexplicable
* The Wishroom lingerie shop on Japan's Internet shopping mall
Rakuten announced in November that it had already sold more than
300 of its new bras specially made for men (about $30 each) since
the product launch earlier in the month. A Wishroom official told
a Reuters reporter, "We've been getting feedback from customers
saying, 'Wow,' we'd been waiting for this for such a long time."
[Reuters, 11-21-08]
* Twice recently (in November, off Atlantic Beach, N.C., and in
October, off Amble, Northunderland, England), anglers
encountered (and rescued) dogs that were swimming about a mile
from land and headed toward the open sea. The pooches, a
Labrador retriever and a cairn terrier, were both said to be
disoriented and uncooperative with rescuers. [News & Observer
(Raleigh), 11-20-08] [Daily Mail (London), 10-24-08]
Unclear on the Concept
* When Arien O'Connell posted the fastest time in October's Nike
Women's Marathon in San Francisco, she expected of course to be
declared the winner, but the shoe company apparently had
promised a group of elite runners (to attract them to enter the race)
that one of them would be the "winner," and consequently, first
place went to a woman who ran 11 minutes behind O'Connell.
After a storm of complaints, Nike reluctantly settled on calling
both women "winners" and said next year it would scrap the two-
tier system. [San Francisco Chronicle, 10-23-08]
* In November, the Swedish national newspaper Expressen
revealed a 30-person bestiality ring operating out of a farm in
southern Sweden, but the 45-year-old man who allegedly headed
the group said his members were always respectful of animals.
"Any of the times I did anything with [the dog], she was the one
who backed into me and provoked it. She was in heat and made
herself available. . . . There were also times later when she didn't
want to and then I backed out immediately." [The Local
(Stockholm), 11-11-08]
* London's Daily Mail reported (after an investigation under
Britain's freedom of information act) that more than half of the
local government councils responding admitted that they were
using anti-terror laws and surveillance equipment to monitor such
mundane activities as whether residents put their garbage out at the
proper times for pickup. Said one prominent critic, "We are no
longer living in what most would recognize as a free society."
[Daily Mail, 11-1-08]
Modern Obsessions
* Professionals at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Columbus,
Ohio, told an annual meeting of radiologists in Chicago in
December that they had discovered an alarming new teenage trend
of self-mutilation: girls deliberately inserting objects into their
arms, hands, feet, ankles, and necks (including needles, staples,
wood, stone, glass, and a crayon). According to the Chicago
Tribune, the Hospital reported extracting 52 such objects from 10
girls in a three-year period and regarded the practice as an
extension of the more common self-cutting. Other studies have
shown that at least 13 percent of high school students have
deliberately injured themselves at least once. [Chicago Tribune,
12-3-08]
Least Competent Criminals
* Not Ready for Prime Time: (1) William Jarrett, 38, was charged
in Hempstead Village, N.Y., in November with swiping a necklace
from a 32-year-old pregnant woman and running off. Despite her
condition, the woman chased him, screaming, for six blocks, and
caught up with him, just as a police officer was arriving on the
scene. (2) Muoi Van Nguyen, 31, was arrested in Spokane Valley,
Wash., in November,.charged with breaking a window with a
hammer at a state liquor store and grabbing a bottle of wine valued
at $9. Earlier, Van Nguyen had tried unsuccessfully to break the
window with a rock but decided he needed a hammer to do the job
and went to a nearby store, where he purchased one for $11.
[Newsday, 11-18-08] [MSNBC-KHQ-TV (Spokane), 11-10-08]
Update
* When News of the Weird last mentioned Andy Park, of
Melksham, England, in 2002, he was in his eighth straight year of
celebrating Christmas every single day of his life, with not only
seasonal decorations and cards mailed to himself but a full holiday
meal including turkey and champagne. However, as he told the
Daily Mail in November, "The credit crunch is getting to me big
time," and he has been forced to cut back a bit on the presents he
gives himself. Nonetheless, every morning since July 14, 1994,
Park continues to arise and open his presents before starting on his
full meal and mince pie. He also watches the Queen's Christmas
speech on video. Yes, he admits, "People do think I'm [nuts]."
[Daily Mail (London), 11-24-08]
A News of the Weird Classic (column of April 28, 1989)
* In 1983, convicted South Carolina murderer Michael Godwin,
then 22, succeeded in getting an appeals court to reduce his death-
by-electric-chair sentence to one of life in prison at the Central
Correctional Institution in Columbia, S.C.. Six years later, in
March 1989, while sitting naked on a metal toilet and attempting to
fix earphones that were connected to a television set, Godwin bit
into a wire and was electrocuted.
Thanks This Week to Candy Clouston, John Ellwood, Roy
Henock, Perry Levin, and Steve Wettlaufer, and to the News of the
Weird Senior Advisors (Jenny T. Beatty, Paul Di Filippo, Geoffrey
Egan, Ginger Katz, Joe Littrell, Matt Mirapaul, Paul Music, Karl
Olson, and Jim Sweeney) and the News of the Weird Editorial
Advisors (Paul Blumstein, John Cieciel, Harry Farkas, Fritz
Gritzner, Herb Jue, Emory Kimbrough, Scott Langill, Steve Miller,
Christopher Nalty, Mark Neunder, Bob Pert, Larry Ellis Reed, Rob
Snyder, Bruce Townley, and Jerry Whittle).
* * * * *
Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net <http://www.weirduniverse.net/> (or
www.NewsoftheWeird.com <http://www.newsoftheweird.com/>) or
mail [email protected] / P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33629.
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