From: Travis
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From: Chuck Shepherd
Date: Sun, Apr 5, 2009 at 2:20 PM
Subject: News of the Weird, April 5, 2009
WEIRDNUZ.M104 (News of the Weird, April 5, 2009)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Canadian filmmaker Rob Spence said recently that he would
install a prosthetic eye with a camera and wireless transmitter (of
the size now used for colonoscopies) into the socket from which
one of his eyes had been removed as the result of a childhood
accident. He hopes to control the prosthetic eye in the same way
that his muscles control his good eye, to record what his eyes see,
and his first project will be a documentary on people's attitudes
about privacy in an "Orwellian society." "[T]he best way to make a
connection [with an interviewee] is through eye contact," he said.
"When you bring in a camera, people change." [Canadian
Broadcasting Corp., 3-12-09]
Government in Action
* Artist Beth Grossman created her wall exhibit, "Seats of Power,"
to encourage citizens to greater activism in local affairs around
Brisbane, Calif. (just south of San Francisco Bay). The "Seats" are
upholstered cushions individually tailored with the buttprints of
each of the 10 city council members, who allowed Grossman to
photograph them from behind, clothed, through a sheet of
plexiglass pressed against their posteriors to simulate being seated.
All 10 co-operated, including Mayor Sepi Richardson, who said
she had been considering her "legacy" lately, "but I never thought it
would be my butt." [Los Angeles Times, 3-20-09]
* Small-Town Politics: (1) Resident Tony Randall of Ashland,
N.H. (pop., 2,000), a surveyor by trade who was elected chief of
the town's 12-member police force in March, promised he would
know more about his job by September, when he will finish police
academy training. (2) The Cleveland Plain Dealer reported that a
March meeting of the Medina, Ohio, City Council required a recess
when all members engaged in serial giggling over one person's
flatulence. (3) Mayor Jerry Oberholtzer of Snellville, Ga.,
involved in a recent feud with an aggressive city council member,
called on police chief Roy Whitehead to escort him to the men's
room at City Hall for his safety. [Boston Herald-AP, 3-11-09]
[WEWS-TV (Cleveland), 3-11-09] [Atlanta Journal-Constitution,
2-11-09]
* The U.S. Food and Drug Administration, with the impossible
task of "regulating" 18,000 makers of drug devices (and thousands
other companies) and enforcing 123 new federal laws since 1988),
has had virtually no increase in staff in 15 years. It's little wonder,
then, that the AM2PAT company of Angier, N.C., was not caught
before bacteria in its pre-filled syringes were linked to five deaths
and hundreds of illnesses in December 2007. Subsequently
inspected, AM2PAT's saline and heparin syringes were found to
contain "debris" and "sediment" and to be "muddy" and "dingy
brown" in color. Furthermore, according to a February report in
the Raleigh News & Observer, the required "clean [air] room" was
found to be just a room with a fan, and the company's "chief
microbiologist" was revealed to be a teenager who had dropped out
of high school. The company's owner has fled to his native India
to avoid prosecution. [News & Observer, 2-25-09]
The Homeland Is Secure
* The U.S. Transportation Security Administration ruled in January
that a post-9-11 federal maritime law, which requires
comprehensive background credentials for mariners holding U.S.
Coast Guard authorization on U.S. waters, applies even to the two
"mule skinners" who work, in tourist season, dressed in colonial
costumes at the Hugh Moore Historical Park in Easton, Pa. The
park's lone mule-pulled boat is operated in a two-mile-long canal
that is near nothing of strategic significance, said the park director.
[CNN, 2-25-09]
* In addition to addressing the usual state homeland-security
concerns, Kentucky's statute requires anyone licensed as a first
responder to disasters to take an oath against dueling ("I, being a
citizen of this state, have not fought a duel with deadly weapons . .
. nor have I sent or accepted a challenge [to duel], nor have I acted
as second in carrying a challenge [to duel], so help me God").
Another provision requires the state Homeland Security Office's
executive director to "publicize" a legislative finding that "reliance
upon Almighty God" is necessary to homeland security. [Kentucky
Statutes Section 39G.010(2)(a), as reported in the lawyers' blog
LoweringTheBar.net, 2-23-09]
Police Blotter
* Police were called to the Aliso (Calif.) Town Center on March
15th after a woman telephoned 911 to report being attacked near
the Center's fountain by another woman, who had flung her dog's
feces at her and her infant. The flinger was said to be upset about
complaints from passersby about the enema she was giving her dog
in public. [Orange County Register, 3-17-09]
* Names in the News: Charged in Albuquerque in February with
giving her daughter marijuana: Ms. Jodi Weed. The victim of a
January beating by her middle school classmates in Tampa (for the
obvious reason): Miss Special Harris. Charged with arson and
destruction of property in Charleston, W.Va., in March: Mr. J.
Edgar Hoover. Charged with prostitution in Tampa in February:
Ms. Ho Suk Kim. [KOAT-TV (Albuquerque), 2-1-09] [St.
Petersburg Times, 1-31-09] [WSAZ-TV (Huntington, W.Va.), 3-5-
09] [Tampa Tribune, 2-11-09]
Fine Points of the Law
* The British Columbia Human Rights Tribunal agreed in February
to hear the charge brought by Roxanne Stevenson that she was
turned down illegally for a clerk's job by the city of Kelowna
because she smokes. "Smoking," itself, is not covered by the law,
and a city official said Stevenson frequently used sick leave at a
previous job and that, during her interview, she "reeked" of smoke
and coughed constantly. Lawyers interviewed by the Vancouver
Sun said, however, that employers cannot discriminate on account
of health status or addiction without offering to accommodate the
worker's condition. [Vancouver Sun, 2-6-09]
The Miracle Drug
* Alcohol Was Involved: (1) A 19-year-old University of
Colorado student required emergency assistance in March after
spending all evening badgering fellow partygoers to hit him in the
face. Finally, at 2 a.m., someone complied, resulting in a broken
nose and massive bleeding. (2) A National City Bank in
downtown Pittsburgh, Pa., was broken into on March 7th,
inadvertently, when an intoxicated man accidentally tripped and
crashed through the front window (narrowly avoiding
decapitation). (3) According to sheriff's reports, a man reported to
Huntsville (Ala.) Hospital on February 18th after having passed out
drunk with an ex-girlfriend and waking up with a sewing needle in
his urethra. [Colorado Daily (Boulder), 3-18-09] [WPXI-TV
(Pittsburgh), 3-7-09] [The News Courier (Athens, Ala.), 2-21-09]
Recurring Themes
* That Sacred Institution (as practiced in villages in India): (1) To
prevent mysterious illnesses in the village, two 7-year-old girls
were married, separately, to frogs (Pallipudupet, Tamil Nadu state;
January). (2) To bring prosperity to the village, an elder married
off two trees to each other (Subhasnagar, West Bengal state;
February). (3) To overcome the effect of a baby's odd-looking
tooth, which is said to portend death by a tiger unless remedied, the
18-month-old boy was married off to a female dog (Jaipur District,
Orissa state; February). [The Times of India, 1-17-09] [The Times
of India, 2-9-09] [Agence France-Presse, 2-18-09]
Undignified Deaths
* (1) A motorist survived a crash on February 4th near Los Banos,
Calif., though his car fell down a 200-foot cliff. After he climbed
back to the highway and sought help, he was accidentally hit and
killed by another driver. (2) A 60-year-old man, celebrating his
retirement from a transportation company in Ritto, Japan, in
December, was killed when three co-workers tossed him playfully
into the air and then apparently miscommunicated as to who would
catch him. [Modesto Bee, 2-4-09] [Mainichi Daily News, 12-16-
08]
A News of the Weird Classic (August 1997)
* News of the Weird reported that hard-luck Oklahoma rapist
Darron Bennalford Anderson had received a 2,200-year sentence in
a Tulsa court in 1994 but had won a new trial. Unfortunately for
him, he was re-convicted in 1996 and re-sentenced, to more than
90 additional centuries behind bars (a total of 11,250 years,
including 40 centuries each for rape and sodomy, 17 centuries for
kidnaping, 10 centuries for burglary and robbery, and five centuries
for grand larceny). In July 1997, the state Court of Criminal
Appeals dismissed the grand larceny charge, as double jeopardy on
the robbery conviction, speeding Anderson's release date up 500
years to 12,744 A.D. [Dallas Morning News, 7-24-97]
Thanks This Week to Philip Urban, Graham Rankin, Sam
Gaines, Sandy Pearlman, and Don Schullian, and to the News of
the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net <http://www.weirduniverse.net/> (or
www.NewsoftheWeird.com <http://www.newsoftheweird.com/>) or
mail [email protected] / P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33629.
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