Obama Orders CIA to Use Hindsight First

By Scott Ott
Examiner Columnist | 4/23/09 9:32 PM 

President Barack Obama today continued his effort to repair the image of the 
U.S. in the wake of his release of the "torture memos," by ordering the Central 
Intelligence Agency (CIA) to "start using hindsight first, instead of as a last 
resort." 

Although aggressive interrogation techniques on three terrorists produced intel 
that likely prevented major attacks on American cities, most experts agree that 
there's no way to know whether less vigorous methods might have produced the 
same results. 

"In hindsight," the president said, "it might have been better to gain the 
trust of men like Khalid Sheik Mohammed by speaking gently with them, and 
offering small gifts like Pop-Tarts, or Nair."

"Because we waited until now to decide whether more humane strategies would 
have worked on KSM," he said, "we lost the opportunity to employ advanced 
hindsight, and thus to win his heart and mind."

"Who knows? Mr. Mohammed might have just spilled the beans by accident in 
casual conversation with an agent who became his buddy," said Mr. Obama. "You 
know...they're talking about sports or girls, or Rosie O'Donnell, and then he 
lets slip with the details of the plan to take down skyscrapers in L.A."

The president also ordered the CIA to conduct a full review before each 
terrorist interrogation that includes "exhaustive second-guessing speculation 
by journalists, pundits, and disgruntled former employees."

"If we do that first," Mr. Obama said, "it will not only protect our image 
overseas, but we also get a chance to talk with some people who might not be 
available after the next terrorist attack on a major city."

Examiner Columnist Scott Ott is editor-in-chief of ScrappleFace.com, the 
world's leading family-friendly news satire source. 


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