From: Travis
From: Chuck Shepherd
Date: Sun, Jun 28, 2009
Subject: News of the Weird, June 28, 2009
WEIRDNUZ.M116 (News of the Weird, June 28, 2009)
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2009 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* Using GPS and state-of-the-art sonar, Columbia University
researchers recently made the first comprehensive map of the
wonders submerged in New York City's harbors. Supplementing
those findings with historical data, New York magazine reported
the inventory's highlights in May: a 350-foot steamship (downed
in 1920), a freight train (derailed in 1865), 1,600 bars of silver
(unrecovered since 1903), a fleet of Good Humor ice cream trucks
(which form a reef for aquatic life), and so many junked cars near
the Brooklyn and Manhattan Bridges that divers use them as
underwater navigation points. Of most concern lately, though, are
the wildlife: four-foot-long worms that eat wooden docks and tiny
"gribbles" that eat concrete pilings. [New York, 5-18-09]
Government in Action
* More California Money "Management": The Los Angeles
Unified School District pays almost $10 million a year to about
160 teachers and staff who are forbidden to do any work those
subject to discipline but whose cumbersome "due process" and
appeals take years to carry out. One teacher, Matthew Kim, fired
by the school board in 2002 for allegedly sexually harassing
students and colleagues, still receives his $68,000 a year, including
benefits, and (by union contract interpretation) cannot be called on
to perform clerical or other non-"professional" duties during the
appeals, according to a May Los Angeles Times report. [Los
Angeles Times, 5-6-09]
* Because of what an April Boston Globe report called "a decades-
old interpretation of the state's militia laws," state government
employees who are also members of the Massachusetts National
Guard and who go on active duty are paid much money if deployed
at home than in Iraq or Afghanistan. State law requires those
Guardsmen on domestic duty to be paid both for their state job and
their military duty while Guardsmen in the war zones collect only
the higher of the two salaries. [Boston Globe, 4-15-09]
* Britain's Local Governments Are Afraid of Everything: (1) The
Bedfordshire and Luton Fire and Rescue Service issued rules
recently requiring the use of long poles to test high-up fire alarms
because letting the firefighters use stepladders might lead to
injuries. (2) The South Kesteven District Council decided in May
to no longer hoist the oversized Flag of St. George outside Bourne
Town Hall on St. George's Day because of the "risk" involved in
using an 8-foot ladder on a plinth above a spiked gate. [Daily
Mail, 4-5-09] [Evening Telegraph (Peterborough), 5-21-09]
* Small-Town Government "People Skills": E-mails from
Smithfield (Pa.) Township Supervisor Christine Griffin, published
in May in the Pocono Record, confirmed the long-time complaints
of critics about her lack of diplomacy. In one official e-mail,
Griffin wrote , "Don't you dare waste my time with your
[expletive], you lying cheating son of a [expletive], sneaky back
door [expletive] nut [expletive] sucker." In another, "[N]o cement
boots for me! Nice try though, a real drama rama! Reminder: I am
the quintessential professional! [D]ecorum and common sense are
my bylaws!" [Pocono Record, 5-7-09]
The Evolution of Democracy
* (1) Kim Schroeder, running for vice-president of the Milwaukee
(Wis.) Teachers Education Association in May, promised a five-
point program, with the first four being vows to make the union
more aggressive toward the school board. His fifth point, he said,
was "to make sure that there is . . . beer and wine available for our
monthly Leaders' Meetings." (He lost.) (2) Josko Risa finished
second in the election for mayor of Prozolac, Croatia (pop. 4,500)
and was in a run-off on May 31st, because of (or despite) his
campaign pledge of (roughly translated) "All for Me, Nothing for
You" (or, "It is definitely going to be better for me, but will be the
same for you"). (Run-off results from Croatia were not widely
reported.) [Journal Sentinel, 5-11-09] [Croatian Times, 5-19-09]
The Continuing Crisis
* More Post-Traumatic Stress: Peter Singer, the author of a new
book on battlefield robotics, told LiveScience.com in May he had
seen soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan grow so attached to their
bomb-disposal robots that, in one case, the soldier risked 160 feet
of enemy machine gun fire to retrieve his little buddy, and in
another, a soldier brought his robot in for repairs with tears in his
eyes over the "injury" to his beloved "Scooby-Doo." Several units,
he said, had given their robots promotions, Purple Hearts, and even
a military funeral. [LiveScience.com, 5-21-09]
Fine Points of the Law
* Richard Balsavage, 28, pleaded guilty in Berks County, Pa., in
2005 to taking pornographic photos of a toddler and was sentenced
to 9-23 months in jail, which he served, but while still on
probation, he continued to possess child pornography and was re-
sentenced by a different judge, to 3-1/2 to 7 years in prison.
Balsavage then asked that judge for a re-sentencing, pointing out
that he had not been given a fair opportunity to express remorse in
court, and the judge relented. Balsavage then made a sorrowful
apology, but it went for naught because the judge had subsequently
learned that during therapy sessions, Balsavage had confessed to a
history of abuse of young children. If Balsavage had not demanded
re-sentencing, he might have been out in 3-1/2 years, but his new
term was set at 24-1/2 to 49 years. [Reading Eagle, 5-28-09]
People Different From Us
* In the Kings Creek area north of Lenoir, N.C., according to
sheriff's deputies, two feuding families created a ruckus in May
after a dog killed a neighbor's cat. When the cat's owner found out,
he shot the dog dead. When the dog's owner found out, he shot the
cat's owner and the man's young daughter. Deputies were called,
and when they arrived, the dog's owner shot both of them, but one
got off a return shot, fatally wounding the dog's owner (and
completing the chain!). [Time Warner Newschannel 14, 5-28-09]
Least Competent Criminals
* (1) Brandon Hiser, 22, was arrested in Kansas City, Mo., in May
for trying to break into a bank using only a screwdriver, which
would be a daunting task any time but the bank Hiser was trying to
enter was the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City. (2) Ezedrick
Jones, 18, was arrested in Memphis, Tenn., for the attempted
robbery of the very same KFC from which he had recently been
fired. Though masked, Jones was quickly recognized by his former
manager via the mask's oversized eye holes, and throughout the
robbery the manager kept addressing Ezedrick by name. [Kansas
City Star, 5-26-09] [Commercial Appeal (Memphis), 5-25-09]
Recurring Themes
* (1) The most recent man to decide to smash a bullet with a
hammer, George Fath, of Pleasant Lake, Ind., said he wanted to
destroy it so it wouldn't harm his kids. Fath told WANE-TV in
April that he was shot in the stomach "and knocked . . . on my
butt." (2) Yet another man tried to explain away testing positive
for cocaine by swearing he could only have ingested the drug when
he performed oral sex on his cocaine-using girlfriend. Ex-NYPD
helicopter pilot Jon Goldin had been fired three years ago for
failing the drug test and had his challenge of the test rejected in
April. [WANE-TV (Fort Wayne), 4-24-09] [New York Daily
News, 4-8-09]
Undignified Deaths
* Their Last Words: (1) "A million dollars is a lot of money to pay
for a whore" were the last words of multimillionaire French banker
Edouard Stern, according to his girlfriend Cecile Brossard, who
took offense (and was convicted of killing him in June in Geneva,
Switzerland). (2) "Shoot me, shoot me," you "ain't got the--" were
the last words (according to a police report) of Scott Riley, 25, who
was arguing with the gun-wielding Joseph Jimenez, 24, about their
game of Beer Pong in Bridgeport, Pa., in May. [BBC News, 6-10-
09] [WCAU-TV (Philadelphia), 5-4-09]
A News of the Weird Classic (March 1994)
* In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., in February 1994, accused murderer
Donald Leroy Evans, 38, filed a pre-trial motion asking permission
to wear a Ku Klux Klan robe in the courtroom and to be referred to
in legal documents by "the honorable and respected name of Hi
Hitler." According to courthouse employees interviewed by the
Associated Press, Evans thought Adolf Hitler's followers were
saying "Hi Hitler" rather than "Heil, Hitler." [Houston Post-AP, 2-
13-94]
Thanks This Week to John Holsinger, Brendan
O'Naughton, Stephen Taylor, Rick Matz, Tim McCall, Jessica
McRorie, and Tom Barker, and to the News of the Weird Board of
Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
Are you ready for News of the Weird / Pro Edition? Every
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addresses:
http://www.NewsoftheWeird.com <http://www.newsoftheweird.com/> and P.O. Box
18737,
Tampa FL 33679.
Visit Chuck Shepherd daily at
http://www.WeirdUniverse.net <http://www.weirduniverse.net/> (or
www.NewsoftheWeird.com <http://www.newsoftheweird.com/>) or
mail [email protected] / P.O. Box 18737, Tampa FL
33629.
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