nerds on one side, useless hippies on the other....the real people can have the middle!
On Aug 24, 9:36 am, cheech <[email protected]> wrote: > DIVORCE AGREEMENT > > THIS IS SO INCREDIBLY WELL PUT AND I CAN HARDLY BELIEVE IT'S BY A > YOUNG PERSON, A STUDENT!!! > > Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, > Marxists, Obama supporters, et al: > > We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this > latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I > know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future > generations, but sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two > ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what > is right so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and > chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. > > Here is a model separation agreement: > > Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each > taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our > two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be > relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly > divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate > tastes. > > We don't like redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are > welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU, and abortion clinics. > Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the > NRA and the military. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie > O'Donnell... > > We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical > companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved > homeless, homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot > Alaskan hockey moms and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you > NBC and Hollywood . > > You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right > to invade and hammer places that threaten us You can have the > peaceniks, and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are > under assault, we'll help provide them security. > > We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. You are welcome to Islam, > Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the > U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill. > > We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can > take every Subaru station wagon you can find. > > You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing > doctors. We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a > right. We'll keep The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National > Anthem. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute I'd Like to Teach the > World to Sing, Kum Ba Ya or We Are the World. > > We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up > poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our > history, our name and our flag. > > Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like > minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just > hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you ANWAR > which one of us will need whose help in 15 years. > > Sincerely, > > John J. Wall > Law Student and an American > > P.S. Also, please take Barbara Streisand and Jane Fonda with you --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more. -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
