Bacon Babble <http://www.baconbabble.com/> <http://fusion.google.com/add?source=atgs&feedurl=http://feeds.feedburner.com/BaconBabble> ------------------------------
- Christmas Demotivators - 2009 edition<https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&view=js&name=js&ver=GRUts-X5mqs.en.&am=!JjYx-7BZhZy5A3Gi0fgGIjf9GXLkD5u4hQ0MOIxZSXjVgA#12582261a216a4cb_1> - Why The Chicken Crossed The Road (according to Star Wars cast)<https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&view=js&name=js&ver=GRUts-X5mqs.en.&am=!JjYx-7BZhZy5A3Gi0fgGIjf9GXLkD5u4hQ0MOIxZSXjVgA#12582261a216a4cb_2> - Funny Airline Announcements<https://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&view=js&name=js&ver=GRUts-X5mqs.en.&am=!JjYx-7BZhZy5A3Gi0fgGIjf9GXLkD5u4hQ0MOIxZSXjVgA#12582261a216a4cb_3> Christmas Demotivators - 2009 edition<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BaconBabble/~3/MPrfLXmIN2c/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email> Posted: 11 Dec 2009 01:34 PM PST [image: baconbabble-christmas-131]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-131.jpg> [image: baconbabble-christmas-3]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-3.jpg>[image: baconbabble-christmas-1]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-1.jpg>[image: baconbabble-christmas-4]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-4.jpg> [image: baconbabble-christmas-7]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-7.jpg>[image: baconbabble-christmas-12]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-12.jpeg>[image: baconbabble-christmas-9]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-9.jpg>[image: baconbabble-christmas-8]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-8.jpg> [image: baconbabble-christmas-11]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-11.jpg>[image: baconbabble-christmas-2]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-2.jpg>[image: baconbabble-christmas-10]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/baconbabble-christmas-10.jpg> Why The Chicken Crossed The Road (according to Star Wars cast)<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BaconBabble/~3/NuNGyj6XJPo/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email> Posted: 11 Dec 2009 09:51 AM PST [image: star wars chicken]<http://www.laughablelists.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/star-wars-chicken.jpg> YODA: Crossing the road makes not a chicken great. VADER: Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side. LUKE: I want to follow the ways of the chicken and cross the road like my father. LEIA: I don’t know… but I have a bad feeling about this. HAN: Hurry up, colonel sanders, or you’re gonna be a permanent resident! 3 P-O: I am fluent in over six million ways of crossing the road. R2D2: beep beep be bop. CHEWIE: Gwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrlllllll! BEN: Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me. BOBA FETT: What if the chicken doesn’t survive? He’s worth a lot to me! WEDGE: My scope shows the other side but it looks really far, are you sure you can cross it? BIGGS: At that speed, will you be able to cross in time? UNCLE OWEN: I told you to forget it. You’re only concern is to cross that road. AUNT BERU: He can’t stay here forever. Most of his friends have already crossed. It means so much to him. LANDO: Why you slimy, no good, double-crossing chicken!! You got a lot of guts crossing that road, after what you pulled! EMPEROR: Young fool. Only now, after getting hit by a car do you understand. JABBA: Bo shuda chicken! Funny Airline Announcements<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/BaconBabble/~3/SDXwnrDNZ14/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email> Posted: 11 Dec 2009 09:45 AM PST Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the “in-flight safety lecture” and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real (and some not so real) examples that have been heard or reported: There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…” [image: laughable-lists-airline]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/laughable-lists-airline.jpg> After landing: “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.” As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: “Whoa, big fella. WHOA!” [image: plane-announcements-funny]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/plane-announcements-funny.jpg> >From a Southwest Airlines employee…. “Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised. In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two or more small children, decide now which one you love more. Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.” [image: funny-announcements]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/funny-announcements.jpg> “Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or adults acting like children.” “As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.” “Last one off the plane must clean it.” And from the pilot during his welcome message: “We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry… Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight…!” [image: engine-trouble]<http://www.baconbabble.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/engine-trouble.jpg> Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, “That was quite a bump and I know what ya’ll are thinking. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t the airline’s fault, it wasn’t the pilot’s fault, it wasn’t the flight attendants’ fault…it was the asphalt!” Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what’s left of our airplane to the gate!” An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a “Thanks for flying XYZ airline.” He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, “Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?” “Why no Ma’am,” said the pilot, “what is it?” The little old lady said, “Did we land or were we shot down?” After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, “Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.” Part of a flight attendant’s arrival announcement: “We’d like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go zipping through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you’ll think of us here at US Airways.” You are subscribed to email updates from Bacon Babble<http://www.baconbabble.com/> To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now<http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailunsubscribe?k=hcF9KZ0QEosURJC42iZAsfnTYVI> . Email delivery powered by Google Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL USA 60610 -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. 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