This is a ha-ha spoof that I wrote a few weeks ago. But it is based upon actual things that have been done by the government. The particular things or products are my choice in the spoof are just to emphasize how ridiculous everything has become and will also in the future.
Jim ----- Original Message ----- From: James ODonnell GM To: AAA-ECON Sent: Wednesday, December 16, 2009 6:18 AM Subject: [JOD ECON] Obama National Industrial Revitalization Act The Obama Administration together with Congressional leaders Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid today proudly announced passage of the United States Industrial Recovery Act of 2009. The bill which provides $1 trillion dollars is designed to reestablish the United States as the preeminent manufacturing leader in the world, and to create millions of new jobs throughout the country. The bill which has been dubbed the Cash For Bonkers Act also creates a new federal agency to be called FEBA [Federal Emergency Bonkers Administration]. The purpose of the new administration is to both manage and direct the operations of both itself and any subcontractors in order to quickly reach the legislation's goals. The chief administrator of this agency, Alfred E Neuman, is also being referred to as the Bonkers Czar and establish a new motto for the agency: What me worry? FEBA has also been granted in this legislation the authority to finance the activities necessary under the act's provisions. Both Goldman Sachs and JP Morgan have both been enlisted to underwrite and distribute any securities created under this act. A spokesperson for Goldman Sachs has reported that both Standard & Poor's and Moody's Investors Service, renouned credit rating agencies, have issued AAA ratings for any and all securities issued under the terms of this legislation. The Bonkers Czar in a press confrence today announced that the first two subcontractors have already been selected: The Shamwow Corporation and Slap/Chop International. Each is to receive $200 billion dollars to finance the expansion of their manufactuing facilities across the United States. The Czar has directed them to each produce at least 7 billion of their products so that each consumer in the world can take advantage of this act and it's massive new production.. The Bonkers Czar has also determined that the price for each of these products will be $100 each, in spite of the fact that these products have been sold for a period of time for $19.99 each on double product offers. When asked by the press who would pay this much for these proucts, the Czar said that this would be no problem at all as they will all be financed by FEBA on a no money down basis with the resulting packages of securities know as BONKS distributed to the banking system for payment and as collateral. This arrangement was approved wholeheartedly by Federal Reserve Chariman Ben Bernanke who said, "There is no problem whatever with these securities, they are as good as gold." When contact by the press both The Shamwow Corporation and Slap/Chop International said that will take some time for our production to get up to full speed in the United States but in the meantime all production will take place in Zhèngzhou , China. Both of the subcontracors have hired for marketing promotion the former GEICO Gecko to act in all future TV advertising. When conacted for his comments, Warren Buffet said that he will be very sorry to lose such a valued and productive employee. In a related story on Wall Street both The Shamwow Corporation [ticker SHAM] and Slap/Chop International [ticker CHOP] began trading on NASDAQ which completed their IPO which was arrenged very quickly. SHAM in trading closed at $1,755 per share and CHOP closed at $1,749 in a very hectic day in which they each traded over 20 billion shares each. The NASDAQ spokesman commented that the market value of both SHAM and CHOP now exceeds the combined market values of Microsoft and Exxon/Mobil making them the most valuable companies by market value on the entire planet. In a non-related story the crack Wall Street Journal investigating team also reported today the they have discovered that 40% of the common stock of both The Shamwow Corporation and Slap/Chop International was acquired by Berkshire Hathaway just last week for a amount said to be in excess of $10,000. At a White House press conference the Press Secretary said that President Obama is very pleased in being able to create so many job for American citizens. -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "AAA-JOD-ECONOMICS" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/aaa-jod-economics?hl=en -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more.
