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The Swiss Have Animal Lawyers, Who Knew?<http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/funnycrave/~3/WxBqin0tmEU/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email> Posted: 19 Feb 2010 02:00 PM PST [image: doglaw The Swiss Have Animal Lawyers, Who Knew?] If you ever plan on boxing a kangaroo, make sure you don’t do it in Switzerland, at least until you get the kangaroo to sign some kind of official contract or something. Otherwise that douchey marsupial might sue you after the fact and he’d totally have representation. Meanwhile you’d be struggling to figure out what everyone’s saying because who the hell speaks Swiss? Antoine F. Goetschel is Europe’s first and, arguably, best animal lawyer. He’s pioneering a movement to get animals legal representation. First Switzerland, then the world. In fact, on March 7th, there’s going to be a vote on whether or not states are going to be required to provide representation for animals in court. They’re actually voting on it. Not even as a joke. FunnyCrave loves animals as much as the next guy, our office is positively teeming with rats, so we’re down with animal husbandry or whatever, but we’re just not sure how the hell this whole deal works. Already according to Swiss law it’s illegal to keep a pig alone in a pen, or a bird alone in a cage. Because it’s solitary confinement. You’ve been torturing your budgie this whole time. God knows what they’d do to you if you tried to get your parakeet to eat your diarrhea. If you want to have a dog you need a training course and in 2013 it will be illegal to tie up a horse in a stall. Swiss horses could be running rampant in no time and if you try to stop them they will sue. Why is Goetschel in the news now? Because he just finished a case in which he represented a fish. A dead fish. The fisherman was accused of torturing it because it took him 10 minutes to catch the fish. He lost and, in the process, got international attention that makes him look kind of like a crazy idiot, which he regrets. He says he took the case because it’s his job, but wishes it didn’t get so much attention. Arguably because putting that fish on the stand would have been just plain awkward. Goetschel gets paid $185 an hour, from the government as cats and dead fish rarely make much of an income, and he tries 150-200 cases per year. Probably the most amazing thing about this story is that we didn’t make it up. This dude seriously went to court over a dead fish. We’re not even sure how the hell such a thing came to trial. Who called the lawyers? Does any of this make a lick of sense? Why won’t my parakeet eat my diarrhea? Related Posts - Eternal Earth-Bound Pets Will Take Care of Your Dog When You Go To Heaven<http://funnycrave.com/eternal-earth-bound-pets-will-take-care-of-your-dog-when-you-go-to-heaven/9514/>(0) - Animal Abuse – The Stupid Origins of 13 Animal Names<http://funnycrave.com/animal-abuse-%e2%80%93-the-stupid-origins-of-13-animal-names/295/>(0) - Roman Polanski Gets Arrested and the World Cries Out<http://funnycrave.com/roman-polanski-gets-arrested-and-the-world-cries-out/3752/>(0) - Mother Nature’s Def Comedy Jam<http://funnycrave.com/mother-nature%e2%80%99s-def-comedy-jam/1797/>(0) <https://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/diQpj2cif-i5J8ta5iJtj88ScYM/i28hnOIOMaXfwWDRnb01JljCI1Q/0/pa> <https://feedads.g.doubleclick.net/~a/diQpj2cif-i5J8ta5iJtj88ScYM/i28hnOIOMaXfwWDRnb01JljCI1Q/1/pa> You are subscribed to email updates from FunnyCrave.com<http://funnycrave.com/> To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now<http://feedburner.google.com/fb/a/mailunsubscribe?k=diQpj2cif-i5J8ta5iJtj88ScYM> . Email delivery powered by Google Google Inc., 20 West Kinzie, Chicago IL USA 60610 -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more.
