that air guitarists could be given a union card is a shame On Jul 28, 8:16 am, Travis <[email protected]> wrote: > [image: CAP News] > The general populace agrees that if more air guitarists looked like this > rather than (see below), the activity might be more enticing. > Judge Rules Air Guitar "Not Real Music" > > NEW YORK CITY (CAP) - A judge in the United States District Court for the > Southern District of New York has ruled that despite visual appearances to > the contrary, air guitar cannot be considered real music and those who play > it should not be given the fame and attention afforded real musicians who > have spent years actually learning how to play the instruments. > > "Oh, and groupies. I forgot to mention groupies," U.S. District Judge Kevin > Castel said as he handed down his ruling. "In fact, I have half a mind to > prosecute all those people who actually spent four hours of their lives > watching the National Air Guitar Championships. > > "Shouldn't you all be home playing Rock > Band<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=200809008>or something?" > Castel asked. > SHARE > > [image: > Facebook]<http://www.facebook.com/sharer.php?u=http://www.crystalair.com/story....> > [image: > Reddit]<http://www.reddit.com/submit?url=http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?...> > [image: > Google > Buzz]<http://www.google.com/reader/link?url=http://www.crystalair.com/story...> > [image: > Propeller]<http://www.propeller.com/story/submit/?url=http://www.crystalair.com/...> > [image: > Mixx]<http://www.mixx.com/submit?page_url=http://www.crystalair.com/story.p...> > [image: > Twitter] <http://twitter.com/home?status=Judge+Rules+Air+Guitar> [image: > StumbleUpon]<http://www.stumbleupon.com/submit?url=http://www.crystalair.com/story...> > [image: > Digg]<http://digg.com/submit?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.crystalair.com%2Fstory.ph...> > [image: > FriendFeed]<http://friendfeed.com/?url=http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201...> > [image: > Yahoo > Buzz]<http://buzz.yahoo.com/submit/?submitUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.crystalair.c...> > [image: > Linked > In]<http://www.linkedin.com/shareArticle?mini=true&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.c....> > [image: > Technorati]<http://technorati.com/faves?add=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.crystalair.com%2Fsto...> > > business NEWS > > SJC Loosens Handgun Control To Help > Economy<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=200807011> > > McDonald's Apologizes For Condoms In Happy > Meals<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201006011> > > Harry Potter Theme Park Closes Equus > Pavilion<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201006008> > > al Qaeda To Cut Workforce By > 25,000<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=200606011> > > BP To Transform Slick Into Vacation > Resort<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201006003> > > The District Court's ruling comes at a time when air guitar enthusiasts are > seeking recognition as a legitimate activity alongside the likes of running > on a treadmill, live action role playing and judging one's actual popularity > and self-worth by the number of accumulated online friends on social > networking sites. > > "Dude, these callouses on my fingers didn't just appear by themselves," said > National Air Guitar contestant Derek Schmidt, a roofer from Ridgewood, NJ. > "And when I fell to the stage during my classic rendition of Eddie Van > Halen's Eruption, I hurt my knee. I think that makes it pretty real." > > Members of the air guitar community say they plan to appeal the ruling and > say they have the support of their colleagues in the desk drummers and > dashboard keyboardists associations. However, law pundits believe they have > an uphill battle ahead of them after VH1 recently opted not to add a mime > show <http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=200707013> to its programming > lineup. > > "I mean, air guitar is pretty much just miming with background music," said > CAP News law consultant Joey Gouger <http://audio.php/?id=85>. "Reminds me > of one of my old cases, City Of Pittsburgh v Skin Flute Society - although, > actually, I think that was something totally different. Nevermind." > > Gouger said he thinks the air guitarists could make a pretty good case for > themselves if they draw on the likes of Ashlee Simpson, Britney Spears and > Janet Jackson - none of whom have ever sung an actual word during a live > show yet "rake in the dough" while on tour. He also points to the Rolling > Stones' use of animatronics for member Ron Wood, who's actually been dead > for 17 years. > > "I don't want to denigrate the art of the air guitar," Castel said in his > ruling. "But air guitar is to music what auto racing is to sports: you gotta > be pretty damn drunk to see how one is even remotely related to the other." > > The National Air Guitar Championships represent another in a fine line of > quality ideas to make its way to America from Europe over the past decade, > including the likes of the Big Brother TV show, men in tiny Speedo > swimsuits<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=200802021>, > and BP. > > "Hell, we defeated the metric system, you'd think we could knock off this > other junk as well," said CAP News intern Ryan, who promised to get coffee > for the entire office for a week if we quoted him in a story. "Although > Ariadne Artiles is welcome to stay. At my place, even." > > We then reminded Ryan that he still lives with his mother and she likely > wouldn't want the 28-year-old Spanish model sitting across the dinner table > from either her son or her husband and distracting them from the succulent > meal of broiled chicken, instant rice and broccoli spears. He agreed and > went to fetch us half-n-half. > TODAY'S TOP STORIES > > VH1 Turns Down "So You Think You Can > Mime?"<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=200707013> > > Westboro Protesters Don Bikinis, Tights At > Comic-Con<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201007011> > > Eager Fans Begin To Camp Out For iPhone > 5<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=200708001> > > Joe Biden Bucks Trends, Predicts Mild > Winter<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201007010> > > Mel Gibson To Release Tapes As Box > Set<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201007009> > > Bristol Palin Dumps Levi For Old Spice > Guy<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201007008> > [image: Fake Advertisement]<http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=201007009> > CAP NEWS AUDIO > Phonics Rehab Center <http://www.crystalair.com/audio.php?id=78> > [image: Phonics Rehab Center] <http://www.crystalair.com/audio.php?id=78> > If your child has taken his addiction to phonics too far for his own good, > enter him in the one detox program proven effective for all kids. > FROM THE VAULT > [image: Study: Most Of Stimulus Spent On Hookers] > <http://www.crystalair.com/story.php?id=200907007> > July 15, 2009 > > TO UNSUBSCRIBE, HIT REPLY AND ASK TO BE REMOVED FROM FUTURE MAILINGS.
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