[image: Andy Borowitz on Live in NYC]<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=d918ffaabf&e=294b7539cd> [image: Borowitz Report] October 6, 2010 Hillary to Become VP; Biden Named President of Afghanistan; Karzai Traded to Minnesota Vikings Historic Three-Way Swap
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=6a301964f5&e=294b7539cd>) – In a three-way swap that may be unprecedented in U.S. history, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is set to become Vice President of the United States, Vice President Joe Biden will become President of Afghanistan, and Afghan President Hamid Karzai will be traded to the Minnesota Vikings. President Barack Obama made the stunning announcement at the White House today, using a PowerPoint demonstration to explain a personnel move that still left many scratching their heads. “I am confident that Hillary and Joe are up to speed and ready to go in their new jobs,” he said. “And I expect Karzai to be in shape by midseason.” When asked if the complicated swap might confuse voters in advance of the midterm elections, the President said, “I certainly hope so.” If all goes according to plan, Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Biden will assume their new roles effective immediately, while Mr. Karzai is expected to start at wide receiver against the Arizona Cardinals on November 7. While many in official Washington were trying to make sense of the stunning announcement, former President Bill Clinton gave the three-way sway a thumbs-up: “Everything about the phrase ‘three-way swap’ appeals to me.” Journalist Bob Woodward, who was privy to the negotiations behind the swap, portrayed Mrs. Clinton and Mr. Biden as amenable to their new jobs, with only Mr. Karzai dragging his feet: “He was concerned that a football helmet would not fit over his precious hat.” Mr. Woodward said he had more inside information about the deal, “but I’m writing about it in a new book, which will be out later this week.” Reached at the Vikings’ practice facility, Minnesota quarterback Brett Favre said he was “blown away” by the news: “I actually retired this morning, but this changes everything.” *Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox for free by clicking here<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=255a4bc2ad&e=294b7539cd> .* *The Los Angeles Times says Andy Borowitz has “one of the funniest Twitter feeds around.” Follow Andy on Twitter here<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=83fac6b984&e=294b7539cd> .* *Buy tickets to see Andy and Alec Baldwin live in NYC here<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=b7da3217a8&e=294b7539cd>. * [image: Andy's Upcoming Events] Upcoming Events * October 20, 2010* at 08:00 PM Andy and Alec Baldwin! See Andy in his only New York appearance this fall, with his special guests Alec Baldwin, Jeffrey Toobin and Judy Gold. Location: The 92nd Street Y, 92nd and Lexington For tickets go to Andy Borowitz Live<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=6dd6be16b6&e=294b7539cd> <http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=38fb184d97&e=294b7539cd> *The Borowitz Report*<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=2fc2023a56&e=294b7539cd>: Waste Someone's Time: Forward to a Friend.<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=5e694f986d&e=294b7539cd> Sign up today for your own *Borowitz Reports*.<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=955d1a6332&e=294b7539cd> *Remove me*<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/unsubscribe?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=743947b930&e=294b7539cd&c=2fb016f3d6>from this list. [image: Delivered by MailChimp]<http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=f92366f0f7&e=294b7539cd> -- Thanks for being part of "PoliticalForum" at Google Groups. For options & help see http://groups.google.com/group/PoliticalForum * Visit our other community at http://www.PoliticalForum.com/ * It's active and moderated. Register and vote in our polls. * Read the latest breaking news, and more.
